August 30, 2025

Breaking Fake News Update (v17)

 Fake News Broke on August 30, 2025!


What's up with this particular bit of fake news, you ask? 

Well, it's me, fully embracing the Administration's move to 'classicalify' America, which he's been expressing for a while through Executive Orders. 

First, there was one issued on Inauguration Day, requiring recommendations to "advance the policy that Federal public buildings should be visually identifiable as civic buildings and respect regional, traditional, and classical architectural heritage in order to uplift and beautify public spaces and ennoble the United States and our system of self-government."

And, there's the MFABA order (Making Federal Architecture Beautiful Again) issued on August 28th, which requires new federal buildings to be built

in a way that “uplifts and beautifies public spaces” and “commands respect from the general public.”

The same article quotes Justin Shubow, president of the National Civic Art Society, who noted, “Classical public architecture is time-honored, timeless, and the mode most associated with our national values and a form of government is quite simply, the architecture of American democracy.”

Clearly, then, having male visitors to the White House dress as the Founding Fathers did is the best way to illustrate 'the mode most associated with our national values and form of government, right? And the portrayal of the women in classical sculpture is the closest I can think of that approximates the MAGA male's vision of the ideal woman... 

I mean, obviously, Hillary Clinton-style pant suits don't "uplift and beautify" public spaces or "command respect from the general public," do they? And certainly, suitless visitors (I'm talking about you, Vlodomyr Zelenskyy!) and tie-less, stupid-red-hat-wearing officials (I'm talking about you, FOTUS!) don't command respect from us, do they?

Now that I think about it, the creation of the Goldoval Office, the paved lawn in the Rose Garden, the comical Mar-a-lago umbrellas and fast-food-restaurant tables there, and the $200M ballroom aren't doing much to help, either. I hope we still have time to quash that last one, at least, in keeping with the EO. 

As always, when fake news breaks, we'll be here to cover it.

August 28, 2025

Breaking Fake News Update (v16)

 Fake News Broke on August 28, 2025!


Is there any surprise that we're using the National Guard not only for law enforcement, but also for mundane tasks that would normally be performed by municipal or federal employees? 

  • There certainly shouldn't be, given that the National Parks Service, which used to take care of some of these tasks, now has a three or four hands full of employees in DC, compared to a couple of hundred pre-DOGE and pre-One Big Beautiful Bill Act. 
  • There certainly shouldn't be, given that DC has seen federal funding slashed by Congress and the administration. 
  • There certainly shouldn't be - after all, even FOTUS declared that crime was down 25% in DC this year alone, so no one should be shocked that there isn't a lot for the Guard members from DC and the red states of Ohio, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, West Virginia, and South Carolina that gleefully ignore high crime in their own states to stand with FOTUS and start Making Restaurants Safe Again for lobbyists, lawyers and politicians. (Are those distinctions without differences?)

I would think, though, that seeing camo-wearing folks with weapons mulching flowers, picking up trash, and loitering in Union Station would be quite the thing in the US capital, wouldn't you agree?

As always, when fake news breaks, we'll be sure to keep you informed. 

August 24, 2025

Breaking Fake News Update (v15)

 Fake News Broke on August 24, 2025!


It's always fun when the government tries to cater to every potential voting bloc, isn't it? And let me tell you, the aging hippie/young stoner demographic is ripe for the picking.

The White House is actually considering reclassifying pot; it's currently a Schedule 1 drug, allegedly having a high potential for abuse and no currently accepted medical uses; basically, it's the same as heroin and LSD. Reclassifying it makes some sense, given that 40 states are OK with it being used medicinally, and 24 are OK with it being used recreationally. 

Weave that discussion with FOTUS wanting to make DC's grass more beautiful - something the warfighters deployed in the Capital must have been eager to hear - and you've got some really potent fake news. 

We'll keep an eye out for more of this stuff,  news, and promise not to bogart it.

Breaking Fake News Update (v14)

Fake News Broke on August 22, 2025! 


Can you imagine 25,000 spectators at a UFC event at the White House? Can you imagine a weirder way to celebrate our 250th birthday? Those things are real, I can assure you.

And can you think of anyone other than Kristi Noem that would step up so eagerly to help complete the mission? That part is fake, at least so far. We got out in front with the fake news so fast, we may have to wait a little longer for the real news to catch up!

As always, if there's fake news, we'll be all over it.

Breaking Fake News Update (v13)

Fake News Broke on August 21, 2025!


This one flew out of the fake news studio after FOTUS declared that we need to focus on the best of our history and our greatness (see BNFU v8 for background), instead of on bad things. 

Linda McMahon, who's had some experience wrestling with tough situations, jumped up to lead the charge, and was able to incorporate private schools and AOne - two of her favorite things - into the mix.  That, ladies and gentlemen, is how a good Cabinet Secretary does things.

As always, we'll continue sharing fake news as it breaks. 

Breaking Fake News Update (v12)

 Fake News Broke on August 20, 2025!


This fake news broke after a video of President Zelenskyy's reactions to the FOTUS, who babbled on and on about his federal occupation of our nation's capital, went viral.

Only an idiot would sit next to a commander-in-chief whose country is actively engaged in an over three-year battle with an aggressor nation and pretend that there's no place on earth more dangerous than Washington, DC. 

Sadly - and I sure wish this was fake news - that idiot is our idiot, much to our embarrassment.

We'll cover more fake news as it breaks - and you can be sure it will.

Breaking Fake News Update (v11)

 Fake News Broke on August 19, 2025!


This was fun fake news to cook up, for sure: toss in a little bit of DOGE (remember DOGE? Where are our DOGE checks, by the way?), a teaspoon or so of crime (who doesn't love to talk about crime?), a cup or two of election fraud (every MAGA Republican has lived through a fraudulent election - just ask one), a heaping tablespoon of a geriatric Democratic demon, a dash of American warfighters (!!!), and a pinch of accounting, and you've got a blue-ribbon recipe, for sure!

And yes, FOTUS did say when *he* votes, he gets asked for his license plate - that part is not a figment of my imagination.

As always, when fake news is breaking, we'll be shaking things up and keeping you informed.

Breaking Fake News Update (v10)

 Fake News Broke on August 17, 2025!


This news broke after what looked to be a 'summit about nothing,' when Vladimir Putin and FOTUS appeared after their shortened meetings at what was thought to be a press conference, but turned out to be the two of them talking about how they didn't accomplish anything and how much of nothing was accomplished (and maybe they'll meet in Moscow next time, said the English-speaking dictator!). 

After the summit, it was announced that Volodymyr Zelenskyy, Ukraine's president, would be returning to the Goldoval Office to meet with FOTUS. We soon learned several European leaders would be joining him, in a show of solidarity after the American dropped his demand for a ceasefire in the war, something he had long said was necessary. 

It was also a show of solidarity after the Ukrainian's last meeting deteriorated when the children in the room took control. FOTUS barked about who was holding the cards, JD Vance demanded to know why Zelenskyy had never said 'thank you' to his boss (a man he said could be America's Hitler), and a moronic reporter chastised him for not wearing a suit. 

Well, he came prepared this time, Zelenskyy did. He showed them! He had the suit, he had the cards, and he gave FOTUS a medal - that's a foreign policy trifecta right there!

There'll be more fake news, and we'll have it for you. 

Breaking Fake News Update (v9)

 Fake News Broke on August 15, 2025!


This fake news came after the Alaska (or was it Russia?) summit, where FOTUS met with his idol, Vladimir Putin. He stood on the red carpet, grinning and clapping like a schoolgirl at a Hanson concert as Putin walked towards him (MMMbop). 

Like most world leaders, Putin understands that flattery will get him everywhere; like us, I'm sure he's seen others traipse to the once-dignified Oval Office, bringing copies of the letters to the Nobel Prize guys, hoping to curry favor on tariffs, or to get oodles of US dollars for housing "the worst of the worst" undocumented farmworkers and Chinese restuarant owners who are ruining America. 

Anyway, this one pretty much wrote itself.  And we'll continue to share fake news as it happens. 

August 23, 2025

Breaking Fake News Update (v8)

Fake News Broke on August 13, 2025!  

This fake news stemmed from an Executive Order titled 'Restoring Truth and Sanity to American History,' which targeted not only the Smithsonian Institution's museums and education centers, but also the National Zoo, which was a curious addition, I thought. VP JD Vance was tasked with leading the charge on this, um, critically important initiative.

This month, the reviews were to begin in earnest, to make sure exhibits were aligned with the FOTUS vision of our history. Eight of the Smithsonian's museums were targeted for the first phase of review, including the American Indian Museum. It was a short hop to find a way to present this particular bad period of our history in a more Trumpian light.

We'll continue to present fake news as it breaks. 

Breaking Fake News Update (v7)

Fake News Broke on August 12, 2025! 


This fake news broke as FOTUS made a deal - a great deal, he's the greatest deal maker in the history of deals, after all - without any announced plans of where the money will go or how it will be used. This follows a similar deal where "he" says he controls a 'golden share' of US Steel, as part of the company's sale to Japan's Nippon Steel. 

And of course, it allows for some Mamdani fun, as FOTUS is greatly disturbed by New Yorkers rejecting Andrew Cuomo. You remember him, right? The COVID-era nursing home scandal, the sexual harassment scandal, and the biggest scandal of all, the Mario Cuomo Bridge?  While Cuomo and FOTUS have butted heads over the years, the devil you know is better than the one you don't, or something like that.

The full weight of the weaponizers in the administration will be brought down on Mandami - DOJ, Homeland Security, and more - including a potential citizenship revocation. That last part? That's not my fake news, that's the real deal, they say. This is one we'll keep an eye on, the Democrats will keep an eye on, the MAGAs will keep an eye on - and you should, too.

We will post more fake news as it breaks.

Breaking Fake News Update (v6)

Fake News Broke (Again) on August 11, 2025! 


This fake news broke as FOTUS's efforts to gain more control over the House of His Personal Representatives struggled in Texas as pesky Democrats left the Lone-Star-reviewed state and headed north to blue states to avoid having to participate in the mid-cycle redistricting shenanigans. This one pretty much wrote itself.

The Dems eventually returned to Austin, where they had to get permission (and a police escort) to leave the legislative chamber, for God's sake, and voted against the power grab. Needless to say, the MAGA Republicans had their way, the maps were approved, and Gov. Gregg Abbott signed the bill. 

We will continue to share fake news as it breaks.

Breaking Fake News Update (v5)

   Fake News Broke on August 11, 2025!


This news broke as preparations for the Alaska (or is it Russia?) summit with Vladimir Putin were being fleshed out. FOTUS was offering up ideas on how to end the war in his usual, um, straightforward manner, including possibly giving up some of America's riches buried in Alaska, or Ukraine's riches, without having discussed that with anyone before doing 'the weave.'  

At the same time, he was attacking two of his favorite women of color, both of whom live rent-free in his head, especially since they're from two of his favorite blue states. The combination made this silly post a piece of cake.

We will continue to share fake news as it breaks.  

Breaking Fake News Update (v4)

  Fake News Broke on August 10, 2025!

This news broke after FOTUS finally issued his long-promised new tariffs; some were negotiated, others were just directed via 'dear Country' letters. Tariffs as high as 125% were imposed on tea imports from China, and it was believed that tariffs would also apply to British tea imports, many of which previously fell below the 'de minimis' price. 

We don't produce a ton of tea - well, we probably produce more than a ton, but not a shit-ton, if you know what I mean - which made this ridiculous post about re-enacting the Boston Tea Party using homegrown tea as part of our 250th birthday celebration possible.

We will continue to share fake news as it breaks.

August 22, 2025

Breaking Fake News Update (v3)

 Fake News Broke on August 9, 2025!


This news broke as president Trump, aka FOTUS (Felon of the United States), was putting new tariffs on many countries - but not on Russia. It also came right before the summit in Alaska, or as FOTUS suggested at least three times, the summit in... Russia.

We'll cotinue to share fake news as it breaks.

Breaking Fake News Update (v2)

 Fake News Broke on August 8, 2025!


This news broke after MAGA Reps. Elise Stefanik and Nick Langworthy wrote a letter to Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney on August 6th, telling him to do something about the wildfires burning in his country and causing smoke issues for New Yorkers. The letter stated
The scale and severity of these fires continue to raise concerns about forest mismanagement and lack of effective deterrence of human-caused fire.

No word on Carney's response, but the fake news response was quick, and we're grateful to Rawanda for taking these two pesky representatives on with the next planeload of undocumented immigrants the US is shipping there.

We'll continue to share fake news as it breaks.

Breaking Fake News Update (v1)

Fake News broke on August 7, 2025!


This news came shortly after Comer subpoenaed Bill and Hillary Clinton, James Comey, Loretta Lynch, Eric Holder, Merrick Garland, Robert Mueller, William Barr, Jeff Sessions, and Alberto Gonzales in his "investigation" of the Epstein files. 

We will continue to share fake news as it breaks. 

January 15, 2025

Wondering on Wednesday 1/15/25


Ready... Set... Wonder!

The Once and Future President (OAFP) wants to make our government smaller. And that's just one reason why I can't help wondering whether we really need a new External Revenue Service to collect tariffs from foreign countries. Separate from the fact that tariffs aren't paid by foreign governments, they're paid by the importers of goods from foreign countries, who typically will pass them on to customers, we already have the good folks at Customs and Border Protection who are responsible for collecting money from foreign governments. Why do we need another team to do the same thing?

You might wonder, as I did, whether the creation of the new department is a suggestion that they're not doing a good job. That doesn't appear to be the case. Rather, the ERS is a way to help us all - even the donor class! Take a look at these comments from MAGAist Steve Bannon, speaking with Dasha Burns of Politico.

Tariffs paid for everything up until the early 20th century. But you wouldn't just look at tariffs, you look at everything about how you can charge fees essentially, whether that's on investment, whether that's on other things of access to this country. America's behind the golden door, OK? And this market is the most robust, lucrative market in the world, and we shouldn't just let people have access, we shouldn't let foreigners have access to this market and to the American people and American citizens for free.

And he said, the ERS, which he envisions fitting under the Treasury Department,  

should eventually take the “burden off people on Internal Revenue Services — no reason the American people, American corporations, even the donor class has to pay for everything.” (emphasis added)

I have to wonder how many Americans woke up this morning worried about the donor class?  

We know who they are, right? The tech billionaires, media billionaires, pharma billionaires, think tank billionaires, and so on. My first thought? Most of us regular folks are pretty sick of hearing about - and from - 'the donor class.' And it seems no one's more sick of one of them -Elon Musk, the First Buddy - than Bannon himself. 

What could be going wrong between these two, you're wondering? Bannon and other MAGA 'originalists' have been publicly bickering with Musk over the coveted H1-B visas, which give foreigners up to six years to work in the US in mostly high-paying jobs that could go to Americans, thinking that supporting those visas goes against the MAGA goal of reducing all immigration, and against America First principles.

Speaking with an Italian newspaper, Bannon proclaimed

I will get Elon Musk kicked out by the time (Trump's) inaugurated. He won’t have a blue pass with full access to the White House. He’ll be like everyone else.

He’s a truly evil person. Stopping him has become a personal issue for me. Before, since he’s put in so much money, I was prepared to tolerate it. Not anymore.

With only a handful of days til the inauguration, is anyone else wondering who'll be the last man standing? I'm guessing it's Musk, with whom the OAFP has sided on the visa issue, but we'll see... that 'co-president' stuff will get to Trump sooner than later, I think.

Sticking with the monied people a bit longer, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Trump's nominee to lead the Department of Health and Human Services, has submitted revised financial disclosure documents. It seems he was unaware that, when asked to state his income, the correct number to submit is the gross amount, not the net amount. And, I think he's also learned that any positive gross amount would be greater than zero. 

Now, you may be wondering why this matters. After all, there are many concerns with RFK's nomination and his positions on a whole host of issues, from the healthiest way to travel with and dispose of dead animals, to whether having part of his brain eaten by a worm is still detrimental to his mental function, or if it was only an issue during a divorce proceeding, to his wide-ranging controversial comments on vaccines and fluoridated water, to whether he would have been chosen by Trump at all if he weren't a Kennedy and a former Democrat, to why his family is so adamantly against him getting any government job... 

But here's the thing I'm wondering: now that we know he not only didn't work for free, as he has stated in interviews, but he was paid a whole lotta money from his anti-vax stuff, has anyone checked his tax returns? Did he report gross income then, or net? 

Speaking of health and stuff, the FDA today banned red dye 3 from food and beverages by January 2027, and from the medications we ingest by January 2028, due to its cancer risk. It's important to note that it was removed from cosmetics over thirty years ago. Think about that for a minute: we haven't been able to put it on our faces for almost half my lifetime, but we can continue eating, drinking, and ingesting it for at least another two years? I can't help wondering the logic of all of that, and I also have to wonder why Big Pharma gets a whole year longer than the food industry to protect us. 

And news is officially breaking today that there's a ceasefire deal between Hamas and Israel, which if all goes well should get at least some of the American hostages released soon. President Biden noted in his remarks that members of the OAFP's administration were engaged in the talks that led to the agreement, which is what would normally be expected in a well-functioning government in transition between administrations. I wonder, as we wait for word of Israel's formal acceptance, if this will be the deal that finally brings this nightmare to an end. 

There was no wondering at all on whether the OAFP would take credit for the deal; of course, he did. Similarly, I didn't wonder for a second whether the reporters covering the White House would throw a 'credit' question into the mix; of course, they did. Why? Because they simply can't help making fools of themselves at times like this. 

And they wonder why people don't trust them. 

There's always more to wonder about than I can ever fit in a single post... drop a comment if there's something on your mind.

January 3, 2025

TGIF 1/3/25

Here's my attempt at a good week/bad week list, the first of the new year. As was often the case with this theme, it seems a week can meander around a bit. 

Rep. Mike Johnson (R-Trump), was re-elected House Speaker on a long-held-open first vote. A few Freedom Caucus folks skipped their votes the first time through the roll call, and three voted for others, but in the end, Johnson prevailed without having to undergo a second vote. 

It may take a while before we know what concessions were made to secure the votes, or if it was simply the unqualified support (and pressure?) of the Once and Future President (OAFP) who offered Johnson his full endorsement ahead of today's vote. 

It might also take a while before we fully understand how this vote impacts the Artful DOGEr, Elon Musk, who both echoed and questioned Trump's endorsement of Johnson, within less than an hour. Will the OAFP stand by his First Buddy, or will he start to pull back?

It feels like Border Czar Tom Homan struck out with his comments after the terrorist attack in New Orleans, which was committed by an American-born, GI Bill-educated Army veteran, who ended his service as a Staff Sergeant in the Reserves a few years ago, and the exploding Cybertruck outside a Trump property in Las Vegas, committed by an active-duty, highly decorated Green Beret. Homan, like others in the MAGA Camp, has pointed to the current administration's border policies as contributors. 

We're not out of the woods. This country is in grave danger. We need to secure that border, and despite what's happened in the last two days in Las Vegas and in New Orleans, this administration is not stopping. They're still releasing thousands of people every week... without proper vetting.

He also talked about the need to ramp up 'insider threat analysis', saying the Biden administration had put that "on the back burner," and warning

We've got two people who served in the military that (allegedly) committed these terrorist acts. We really need to dig down into insider threats in our military and our federal service. 

I don't want to be the bearer of bad news for the incoming administration, but I would be remiss if I didn't remind them that Pete Hegseth, the OAFP's pick to run the Defense Department, was once identified as a potential  "insider threat" because of his apparent affinity for white supremacist groups.

Hegseth, who has downplayed the role of military members and veterans in the Jan. 6, 2021, attack and railed against the Pentagon’s subsequent efforts to address extremism in the ranks, has said he was pulled by his District of Columbia National Guard unit from guarding Joe Biden’s January 2021 inauguration. He’s said he was unfairly identified as an extremist due to a cross tattoo on his chest.

It wasn't that tattoo that got him in trouble - it was another one, reported by a fellow Guard member.  

Sticking with New Orleans for a moment, media reports  say that the New Orleans terrorist left coolers containing IEDs on Bourbon Street, and that "security cameras showed multiple people stopping and looking at the coolers before walking away." I have to say that we all, collectively, deserve a bad week mention for that. 

Have we forgotten all the reporting on the importance of speaking up, of "if you see something, say something?" All the signage at airports and other transportation hubs about reporting unattended bags? Have we forgotten the Boston Marathon bombing? What to do when we see a suspicious package? 

It's a miracle the terrorist didn't have time to detonate the devices - the carnage, the death toll, the societal toll could have been so much worse if that had happened. We have to do better, for ourselves and others.

TGIF, everyone.

December 31, 2024

One Last Phase of Goodbye

The ancient lockbox always sat under the old slant-top schoolmaster's desk. The desk was a Christmas gift from Mom to Dad. She was a teacher when they met, and a couple years after he became a teacher too, she gave it to him, the desk lovingly stripped and refinished by her patient hands.

I've spent so much time in that lockbox over the past 20 months, going through their papers - SO many papers! Pictures from their childhoods, family birth and death certificates, taxes, scribbled genealogy notes, pension papers, pay stubs from the 60s, homeowners' insurance, car insurance, investments, taxes, wills, medical stuff, assorted licenses - and the deed to a house I've never lived in, but have lived with, for over 40 years. 

That house became mine when Mom passed in March 2023, and it's now been three weeks since I finalized the sale of what was called, on the 1981 survey, "The Drummond Estate."

Built in 1824, it was a little farmhouse with an outbuilding or two, and perennial gardens which, if memory serves, were a huge selling point. Mom and Dad had always admired the flowers on their daily trips to and from the schools where they taught. 

Over the years, the gardens changed; bulbs gave up after many years of bloom; raised beds replaced ground-level ones; herbs replaced flowers; flowering trees and shrubs, roses, more perennials, and more bulbs were planted, expanding the garden from its original spot in the east lawn to vantage points from windows in almost every room. 

Over the years, the house expanded from its original footprint, just as the garden had, as family members' lives and needs changed. With none of us in a position to take it over, for a variety of reasons, I've sold it to someone who will bring it up to date, allowing a family to move in and enjoy the gifts the Estate has to offer.

For a long time, even before Mom passed last year, it's been hard for me to see and feel the memories I had of the house. There are many reasons for that, including me putting up a protective shield to purposefully keep them out, and later to keep them from getting in the way of handling the estate (the lower-case 'e' is intentional), and spare me the pain of her loss, and Dad's 18 years ago next month. 

But as I walked the buyer and his team through the house, those memories started to sneak back in:

  • staying in the tiny room at the top of the steep and narrow original stairs, as I described where the original house ended and additions began;
  • the dogs having to be collected from the old house and driven back home (more than once, the silly pups) as I walked him around the yard;
  • standing in the dining room, remembering running my fingers over the indentations in the old dining room table, where Dad marked papers for years with a heavy hand;
  • looking out where Dad's little pumpkin patch (a fun field trip for Mom's elementary school kids) used to be; before that, the asparagus patch, and at some point, the Christmas trees, only a couple of which were ever harvested;
  • the half-removed sidewalk leading to where the chickens made their home in one of the long-since-gone outbuildings that appeared on the survey;
  • the surprise 50th-anniversary shade garden My Sweet Baboo and I planted where they'd see it every morning at breakfast; 
  • the hours spent in the living room, packing little bags of herbs and spices for the booth at the Jordan Fall Festival, and singing 'Oh-ree-gano' to the tune of Handel's 'Hallelujah', leaving us giggling the rest of the night; and more.
I was surprised how much the house, emptied of Mom and Dad's worldly possessions, spoke to me. Moreover, I felt encouraged for the first time in a long time. Obviously, getting the house sold and all of the associated 'stuff' settled was a huge relief that I'd been looking forward to for over a year and a half. But it was more than that. 

If I could smile, misty-eyed, as I walked through the empty rooms for the last time, remembering where Dad's blue recliner used to be, where the stairs used to rise, where the schoolmaster's desk sat, looking out the kitchen window where I could see the moon rise, spots in each room where specific pictures used to hang, where laughing grandchildren used to open presents... there's hope. 

If the empty house, primed walls hiding the familiar colors, could awaken my memories with more smiles than tears, then maybe I can finally start putting all of the sadness, anger, frustration, pain, and guilt that have taken up so much space in my head and my heart behind me.

And maybe I can tackle the boxes of 'stuff' that came here that I've been avoiding, and the rest of the 'stuff' sitting in a storage unit that I've been avoiding even more. And maybe I can empty out that darn lockbox for the last time. 

Dad's schoolmaster's desk, the gift from Mom back in 1966? Yeah, that's here, and it will stay here until it comes time for someone to figure out what to do with my stuff. I may just keep the empty lockbox under it, for old times' sake.