Breaking Fake News Update (v17)

 Fake News Broke on August 30, 2025!

What's up with this particular bit of fake news, you ask? 

Well, it's me, fully embracing the Administration's move to 'classicalify' America, which he's been expressing for a while through Executive Orders. 

First, there was one issued on Inauguration Day, requiring recommendations to "advance the policy that Federal public buildings should be visually identifiable as civic buildings and respect regional, traditional, and classical architectural heritage in order to uplift and beautify public spaces and ennoble the United States and our system of self-government."

And, there's the MFABA order (Making Federal Architecture Beautiful Again) issued on August 28th, which requires new federal buildings to be built

in a way that “uplifts and beautifies public spaces” and “commands respect from the general public.”

The same article quotes Justin Shubow, president of the National Civic Art Society, who noted, “Classical public architecture is time-honored, timeless, and the mode most associated with our national values and a form of government is quite simply, the architecture of American democracy.”

Clearly, then, having male visitors to the White House dress as the Founding Fathers did is the best way to illustrate 'the mode most associated with our national values and form of government, right? And the portrayal of the women in classical sculpture is the closest I can think of that approximates the MAGA male's vision of the ideal woman... 

I mean, obviously, Hillary Clinton-style pant suits don't "uplift and beautify" public spaces or "command respect from the general public," do they? And certainly, suitless visitors (I'm talking about you, Vlodomyr Zelenskyy!) and tie-less, stupid-red-hat-wearing officials (I'm talking about you, FOTUS!) don't command respect from us, do they?

Now that I think about it, the creation of the Goldoval Office, the paved lawn in the Rose Garden, the comical Mar-a-lago umbrellas and fast-food-restaurant tables there, and the $200M ballroom aren't doing much to help, either. I hope we still have time to quash that last one, at least, in keeping with the EO. 

As always, when fake news breaks, we'll be here to cover it.

Breaking Fake News Update (v12)

 Fake News Broke on August 20, 2025!

This fake news broke after a video of President Zelenskyy's reactions to the FOTUS, who babbled on and on about his federal occupation of our nation's capital, went viral.

Only an idiot would sit next to a commander-in-chief whose country is actively engaged in an over three-year battle with an aggressor nation and pretend that there's no place on earth more dangerous than Washington, DC. 

Sadly - and I sure wish this was fake news - that idiot is our idiot, much to our embarrassment.

We'll cover more fake news as it breaks - and you can be sure it will.

Breaking Fake News Update (v10)

 Fake News Broke on August 17, 2025!

This news broke after what looked to be a 'summit about nothing,' when Vladimir Putin and FOTUS appeared after their shortened meetings at what was thought to be a press conference, but turned out to be the two of them talking about how they didn't accomplish anything and how much of nothing was accomplished (and maybe they'll meet in Moscow next time, said the English-speaking dictator!). 

After the summit, it was announced that Volodymyr Zelenskyy, Ukraine's president, would be returning to the Goldoval Office to meet with FOTUS. We soon learned several European leaders would be joining him, in a show of solidarity after the American dropped his demand for a ceasefire in the war, something he had long said was necessary. 

It was also a show of solidarity after the Ukrainian's last meeting deteriorated when the children in the room took control. FOTUS barked about who was holding the cards, JD Vance demanded to know why Zelenskyy had never said 'thank you' to his boss (a man he said could be America's Hitler), and a moronic reporter chastised him for not wearing a suit. 

Well, he came prepared this time, Zelenskyy did. He showed them! He had the suit, he had the cards, and he gave FOTUS a medal - that's a foreign policy trifecta right there!

There'll be more fake news, and we'll have it for you.