Breaking Fake News Update (v27)

 Fake News Broke on 11/22/25!

Yep - you read that right: the way to make airline travel is to have people dress up before being crammed into their seats. At least, that's the word from former reality TV star Sean Duffy, our always impeccably-dressed-in-suits-worth-several-months-of-SNAP-benefits Transportation Secretary.

In a video released earlier this week, we see what travel was like in the olden days, compared to what it's like now. And don't get me wrong, the video shows some really heinous behavior by some real jerks. Everyone knows there's more of that kind of behavior now than there was in the distant past Duffy's pining for, and significantly more today than there was before COVID, even if the numbers have dropped. Social media definitely contributes to this - because someone's *always* filming, right? - as does the rude and bullying behavior of others, including politicians like Duffy's boss. After all, if it's good enough for him, it's good enough for the average Joe, right?

Duffy suggests that we're entering a new Golden Age of Travel, which, according to social media responses to his video from folks who fly regularly, is something only a person who rarely flies commercial could say. Is the age of expensive and often cancelled or delayed flights, cramped seats with zero legroom, extra charges for pretty much everything, and yes, airlines defending their practice of up-selling 'window seats' that don't have windows truly 'golden'? 

Duffy apparently thinks it could be, if only people started dressing better and acting better. 

Manners don’t stop at the gate... Let’s bring civility and manners back.

And do that, he suggests, by asking yourself five questions:

1. Are you helping a pregnant woman placing her bags in the overhead bin?
2. Are you dressing with respect?
3. Are you keeping control of your children?
4. Are you saying thank you to your flight attendants?
5. Are you saying please and thank you in general?

And after you do those things and get settled into your flight, don't pay attention to your paralyzed legs, cramped buttocks, sore back, expensive peanuts and beverages, and all the rest. 

Instead, manifest "the things that make travel fun," according to the DOT, which one of our anonymous sources mentions at the end of the BNFU shared above - "the excitement, the relaxation, the cordial conversation..."  

And when you find yourself waiting for your bags, or for your connecting flight, or waiting to rebook your cancelled flight, remember this, also from the DOT: 

Americans already feel divided and stressed. We can all do our part to bring back civility, manners, and common sense. When we can unite around shared values, we can feel more connected as a country. 

That's true, even if that shared value is "I hate airlines!"  Happy traveling!

And as always, when fake news breaks, we'll be here for it!

Breaking Fake News Update (v17)

 Fake News Broke on August 30, 2025!

What's up with this particular bit of fake news, you ask? 

Well, it's me, fully embracing the Administration's move to 'classicalify' America, which he's been expressing for a while through Executive Orders. 

First, there was one issued on Inauguration Day, requiring recommendations to "advance the policy that Federal public buildings should be visually identifiable as civic buildings and respect regional, traditional, and classical architectural heritage in order to uplift and beautify public spaces and ennoble the United States and our system of self-government."

And, there's the MFABA order (Making Federal Architecture Beautiful Again) issued on August 28th, which requires new federal buildings to be built

in a way that “uplifts and beautifies public spaces” and “commands respect from the general public.”

The same article quotes Justin Shubow, president of the National Civic Art Society, who noted, “Classical public architecture is time-honored, timeless, and the mode most associated with our national values and a form of government is quite simply, the architecture of American democracy.”

Clearly, then, having male visitors to the White House dress as the Founding Fathers did is the best way to illustrate 'the mode most associated with our national values and form of government, right? And the portrayal of the women in classical sculpture is the closest I can think of that approximates the MAGA male's vision of the ideal woman... 

I mean, obviously, Hillary Clinton-style pant suits don't "uplift and beautify" public spaces or "command respect from the general public," do they? And certainly, suitless visitors (I'm talking about you, Vlodomyr Zelenskyy!) and tie-less, stupid-red-hat-wearing officials (I'm talking about you, FOTUS!) don't command respect from us, do they?

Now that I think about it, the creation of the Goldoval Office, the paved lawn in the Rose Garden, the comical Mar-a-lago umbrellas and fast-food-restaurant tables there, and the $200M ballroom aren't doing much to help, either. I hope we still have time to quash that last one, at least, in keeping with the EO. 

As always, when fake news breaks, we'll be here to cover it.