Free-flowing White House Verse

Sure, there's lots of construction noise, and construction lawsuit noise, and some destruction of construction that was underway but didn't meet the Builder-in-Chief's vision, but even with all of that,  there was still plenty of arguing and yelling and ketchup-squishing noise that made it out into the public realm. 

I won't reveal my sources for this; let's just say they're very well-placed, like a good microphone or something. I might write a book, but first I'd probably need to officially be a reporter for the Fake News, to bump up my viewership.

The (alleged) words of the FOTUS are easily identifiable. Others (allegedly) involved? Secretaries Marco Rubio, Pete Hegseth, and Scott Bessent; Deputy Defense Secretary Steve Feinberg; and yours truly. Let the free verse fly, like the American Flag over Greenland!

Talk Like Nobody's Listening (or yell, if you want)

We need more munitions! The Biden and Obama administrations depleted our reserves!

We need more munitions! The Biden administration gave all our weapons to Ukraine! I will end the war in Ukraine on Day One! I will win the Nobel Prize – maybe two, and Obama only has one!

We're fighting Iran because Israel said they were going in, and if we didn’t go with them, we’d look weak, and the world would be a more dangerous place!

We’re fighting Iran because it is TWO WEEKS AWAY from having ‘the nuclear’ and we can’t let that happen! We are winning the war! We have won the war! We will win the war!  We are winning the war! We are playing 5-D chess; they are playing ‘Fast and Furious’ with the ENTIRE MIDDLE EAST, and we won’t let that happen! The Bored of Peace will act swiftly, on my order to Jared, to end all the hostilities and develop plans for MULTIPLE Gold Coast Rivieras on the Persian Gulf, the Gulf of Oman, the Gulf of America, and the Gulf Station in Winthrop, MA – they are ALL ripe for development!

We need more money from Congress because we are almost out of munitions!

We’re out of munitions because I’ve been ending wars around the globe, including in Gaza, Venezuela, Ukraine, Russia, Lebanon, the FIFA Soccer War, the Mulch War - that was BRUTAL but my Skid Steer of Peace has fixed that – we BURIED the opponent and Four Seasons Total Landscaping was declared the victor, by a pile! – and PakIndiaStan, where my tariffs stopped that war cold! NOBEL! NOBEL! NOBEL!

Holy crap, we have fewer munitions in the stockpile than we have barrels of oil in the strategic reserve – the Biden and Obama administrations were completely irresponsible!

Munitions are flowing in from all over the place to the US, where we do NOT have a munitions shortage!

Hi, Congress? It’s me, Pete - the Secretary of War, Tattoos, and Testosterone... we need way more manly dollars to make way more manly munitions. I'm in trouble here; can you help a guy out?

WE ARE NOT ALMOST OUT OF MUNITIONS – WE HAVE MANY MORE MUNITIONS THAN ANYONE ELSE, MORE MUNITIONS THAN ANY COUNTRY IN HISTORY! ANYONE SAYING WE ARE OUT OF MUNITIONS IS A COMMUNIST TRAITOR WHO DESERVES THE ULTIMATE PENALTY! KASH PATEL IS OFFERING A $50,000 REWARD FOR INFORMATION ON THE WHEREABOUTS OF THESE EVIL AMERICA-HATING DUMOCRATS!

We have directed munitions companies to tell us, within 21 days, how the hell they’re going to start delivering way more munitions way more faster than they ever dreamed they could, and how the hell they’re going to expand manufacturing facilities here in the US and hire American workers to make them, and oh, by the way, you can undocumented workers who will work for way less and save us money so we can afford to pay you for the munitions; we’ll tax the crap out of them, not fine you for hiring them, and deport them after we have the munitions we need to solve the shortage we don't have.

WE DO NOT HAVE A MUNITIONS SHORTAGE! THE REFLECTION POND WAS VANDALIZED! JEANNINE PIRRO FOLDED LIKE A COCKTAIL UMBRELLA! I HAVE ORDERED KASH PATEL TO OFFER A $50,000 REWARD FOR INFORMATION PROVING JEANNINE PIRRO IS A LYING, TRAITOROUS DUMOCRAT!!

We expect the Strait of Hormuz to be fully open by Tuesday or Wednesday of last week, maybe by Friday. I’ll have a market-roiling update for you on the status by yesterday, in time for tomorrow’s market opening. And just like K-cars, the K-shaped economy is over – that should help manipulate things nicely, don’t you think?

FAKE NEWS!!! HER EMAILS!!! RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA!!! IT’S ALL FAKE NEWS! COMEY AND MARK KELLY ARE TRAITORS!!! SLEEPY JOE IS A TRAITOR!!! I WANT MY BALLROOM AND I WANT IT NOW!!!

Wondering on Wednesday 7/15/26

 

Ready... Set... Wonder!

Today I learned (from reporting by The Guardian) that Secretary of Manly Manliness, Defense, and War Pete Hegseth is "authorizing a new screening program for testosterone deficiency for our service members," to ensure they "have the right testosterone levels to operate at (their) absolute best.” 

As we know, the modern battlefield is brutal and unrelenting,” he added. “It requires and demands maximum psychological and mental readiness, and by addressing these health markers early, we’re keeping you on the leading edge of lethality, and giving you the same level of support that you give this nation – the absolute best.”

The plan will require "warfighters" who are at least 30 years old to have the test as part of their regular health assessment; folks younger than 30 who are, um, 'T-curious' can also participate. His announcement video says that treatment for those with low levels is optional, but I can't help wondering what'll happen the first time someone says 'no thanks' to the T tea, or however they treat it. 

And if you had to guess if there were any other members of the 'Make America' hat letters administration who know anything about this, I wonder if you'd be surprised to learn that RFK, Jr. has talked about getting testosterone injections as part of his "anti-aging' regimen? 

Nah... didn't think so.

Remember all the folks getting doxxed, or censured, or even fired for expressing opinions after the murder of Charlie Kirk? Well, it seems that some folks who got caught up in the "Don't Speak Ill of Charlie" mania are getting their just rewards.

According to The Hill and others, the Sunshine State must make a sizeable payment to a biologist at a state agency.

Brittney Brown lost her job at the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) in September after reposting a message to her private Instagram account claiming Kirk did not care about children being shot in their classrooms. 

The post read: “The whales are deeply saddened to hear about the shooting of Charlie Kirk, haha just kidding, they care exactly as much as Charlie Kirk cared about children being shot in their classrooms, which is to say not at all.”

Her repost of someone else's words was seen by "popular conservatives" on social media, which, according to her lawsuit, cost Brown her job. The settlement requires Florida to pay a total of $485,000 to cover the loss of her job, back pay, and legal fees. 

And it turns out Brown is not alone. A retired law enforcement officer in Tennessee was paid $850,000 after being jailed - for more than a month - after sharing a post about Kirk on social media. And a teacher's union has filed a lawsuit against Texas for investigating teachers who shared comments about Kirk online. 

And, with the passing of Sen. Lindsey Graham, who had a long career and left plenty for people on both sides of the proverbial aisle to be grumpy about, I'm wondering how folks will be treated if they post their honest opinions about him on social media? 

Will they fall victim to the massive cancel culture machine that the FOTUS himself has promoted for years, and which was perfected by those "popular conservatives" on social media? Or will they get a pass and be allowed to say what they want without being reported to their employer, their church, their golf league, and the rest?

Last but not least, here are some of the remarks the FOTUS made when talking about experimental medications and the 'right to try' them. Here's what he said about one unnamed drug:

We've taken people that were dead. We had a person given the last rites - gone; the kids were crying and everything - and started him on this drug. And the person became better. It works.

The wondering here is rampant, as you might imagine, and honestly, some of what I'm thinking would probably get me in trouble with some agency or other, in DC, or Kentucky, or Iran, or... 

Anyway: what's on your wondering mind tonight? Drop a comment!

Wondering on Wednesday 5/13/26

 

What's on my wondering mind tonight? Here's a sampling:

The Trump International Hotel and Tower planned for Australia's Gold Coast is a no-go, according to multiple sources. What happened to the ~$1.09B deal depends on who you ask. The Aussie developer is blaming the 'toxicity' of the Trump name, while folks who bear that name are saying the developer didn't meet the contract terms. 

Both things seem plausible, and I wonder how many other projects tentatively on the docket might not go forward? The FOTUS (yeah, I know, 'he's not involved in day-to-day operations of the company,' or so they say) continues to display progressively more petulant, aggressive, and narcissistic tendencies, and I suspect there's a point at which some folks will pull a Nike and just say no...

Speaking of the FOTUS and his tendencies, I have to wonder if anyone in his administration is supposed to be playing the role of the adult in the room? Someone really should be, given this recap of his social media activity in the hours before he was to leave for China. Some of his posts were just plain crazy, like one from a fake JFK Jr. account about Barack Obama bugging Trump Tower, apparently not realizing, or caring, that Kennedy died several years before Obama's rise to national prominence. Others? Obama made $120M off the Obamacare name; Sen. Mark Kelly must resign; he own team is not doing enough to punish his enemies, and more. 

Speaking of his China trip, among his entourage are a trillion dollars' worth of CEOs, a trio of Cabinet Secretaries (Rubio, Hegseth, and Bessent), Eric and Lara Trump, and Brett Ratner, the guy who directed the Melania movie, who was accused in 2017 by multiple women of sexual harassment. I don't know about you, but I can't help wondering what value Ratner will bring to the trip. Maybe it's just a chance for him to pitch a movie to China's first lady?

What else... Oh, how could I forget? The FOTUS, you'll remember, sued the Internal Revenue Service for $10B (that's two-thirds of the agency's total budget!) because it failed to protect his privacy when years of his tax returns were stolen, and juicy parts were published, like the fact that for several years, he paid no federal income tax. Last month, the judge in the case raised concerns about how 'adversarial' the parties are, given that the president pretty much controls the whole show. With briefs due on May 20th and a hearing scheduled for May 27th, there are reportedly discussions about settling the case before the judge's concerns are even addressed. Shocking, I know.

Among the options allegedly being tossed around? Dropping the audits against Trump, his sons, and his companies...the same audits that 'prevented' him from disclosing his taxes to the American people, as most major-party candidates have done for the past several decades. Now, if you're wondering what I'm wondering about on this one, it's this: would the FOTUS accept just the dropping of the audits, or would he demand a financial payment, too? If he demanded a payment, would he donate it to charity, as he's promised all along, or would he pocket it along with all the other money he's grifting from us? 

Drop a comment if there's something you're wondering about; there's always more than I can fit into a single post.

Breaking Fake News Update (v22)

Fake News Broke on October 1, 2025! 

If you followed the reporting yesterday, you'll understand how this one practically wrote itself.  But let's dive in, just in case some folks haven't gotten up to speed on yesterday's hastily called, in-person gathering of military leadership in Quantico, Virginia.

Real news broke last week that the meeting would happen, and earlier this week, news leaked that it was basically going to be a pep talk, one of those dreaded teambuilding off-sites. And after that, news broke that FOTUS was also going to attend, which brought it down to a whole nother level. 

Anything in quotes in the fake news update are Hegseth's words; the rest, of course, are mine. There were lots of words, and lots of attempts to embarrass the leadership of the military, and lots of complaints about Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, and how we had to get rid of folks who are in place because of what they are, instead of based on merit, like he and the rest of the folks from the Fox News network were.  

 I also incorporated some of the rambling, sloppy political rally garbage offered by the FOTUS; it was he who suggested, after complaining about both President Obama and President Biden, and the media, and talking about the wars he's won, and telling folks how to walk down stairs, that our military could be deployed for training in American cities, to fight the enemy within. I did not make that part up. 

Was everything Hegesth said ridiculous? No, it wasn't. Could this have been an email? Yes, it could have, but then no one would have seen Hegseth parading in front of a giant flag, exhorting the troops, and no one would have seen him at the end, waiting for applause that never came. 

Should FOTUS have been there at all? Of course not, because he simply cannot do anything other than a rally, whether it's a Cabinet meeting, a meeting with a foreign leader, a speech to the United Nations, NATO, or any other gathering.  He, too, lamented the lack of applause, I guess thinking that these folks who are obligated not to participate in partisan political garbage would ignore that because they were in his presence. Good for them for not falling for it.

As always, when fake news breaks, we'll be on the case!

Breaking Fake News Update (v19)

 Fake News Broke on September 9, 2025!

Are you scratching your head about this latest fake news? If yes, you're not alone! 

First, some background. As reported in a previous BFNU, the White House will be hosting a bigly UFC event as part of the slate of events planned around our nation's 250th birthday. Originally planned for July 4th, the Wall Street Journal reported (not fakely) that the event has been moved up a week, to late June. This was disappointing to the FOTUS, and others, who thought that a birthday beating happening on the actual birthday would be more impressive and more illustrative of our 'warrior mentality' and BDE, or whatever you call what Secretary of War Pete Hegseth thinks he exudes. 

Dana White, the UFC guy, said that things will still be hugely celebrated, with weigh-ins at the Lincoln Memorial, and maybe even warm-ups and a walk from the White House to the cage.

Now, what about Bessent?  Well, boy howdy, he's a fighter! From the linked NY Post article, Bessent got into a heated verbal altercation with Bill Pulte, who leads the Federal Housing Finance Agency

Two sources say that Bessent, 63, threatened to beat up Pulte, 37, for allegedly trash-talking him to President Trump.

At one point, the Treasury chief lashed out at Pulte, saying: “Why the f— are you talking to the president about me? F— you.”

And, from The Hill, 

When the club’s co-owner sought to intervene, Bessent reportedly said to him, “It’s either me or him. … You tell me who’s getting the f‑‑‑ out of here.”

There was more, but you get the drift. It seems Bessent also hit Elon Musk, the Artful DOGEr.

I don't know about you, but that sounds exactly like the kind of nonsense folks are used to seeing in the lead-up to UFC battlers, so it seems like a perfect fit. 

And, I think it sets a high bar for RFK Jr, who's had a very combative few days in hearings on the hill. I'm sure he could rise to the occasion, and if not, maybe Hegseth will step up?

As always, if there's fake news breaking, we've got you covered!

Breaking Fake News Update (v16)

 Fake News Broke on August 28, 2025!

Is there any surprise that we're using the National Guard not only for law enforcement, but also for mundane tasks that would normally be performed by municipal or federal employees? 

• There certainly shouldn't be, given that the National Parks Service, which used to take care of some of these tasks, now has a three or four hands full of employees in DC, compared to a couple of hundred pre-DOGE and pre-One Big Beautiful Bill Act. 
• There certainly shouldn't be, given that DC has seen federal funding slashed by Congress and the administration. 
• There certainly shouldn't be - after all, even FOTUS declared that crime was down 25% in DC this year alone, so no one should be shocked that there isn't a lot for the Guard members from DC and the red states of Ohio, Louisiana, Mississippi, Tennessee, West Virginia, and South Carolina that gleefully ignore high crime in their own states to stand with FOTUS and start Making Restaurants Safe Again for lobbyists, lawyers and politicians. (Are those distinctions without differences?)

I would think, though, that seeing camo-wearing folks with weapons mulching flowers, picking up trash, and loitering in Union Station would be quite the thing in the US capital, wouldn't you agree?

As always, when fake news breaks, we'll be sure to keep you informed. 

TGIF 1/3/25

Here's my attempt at a good week/bad week list, the first of the new year. As was often the case with this theme, it seems a week can meander around a bit. 

Rep. Mike Johnson (R-Trump), was re-elected House Speaker on a long-held-open first vote. A few Freedom Caucus folks skipped their votes the first time through the roll call, and three voted for others, but in the end, Johnson prevailed without having to undergo a second vote. 

It may take a while before we know what concessions were made to secure the votes, or if it was simply the unqualified support (and pressure?) of the Once and Future President (OAFP) who offered Johnson his full endorsement ahead of today's vote. 

It might also take a while before we fully understand how this vote impacts the Artful DOGEr, Elon Musk, who both echoed and questioned Trump's endorsement of Johnson, within less than an hour. Will the OAFP stand by his First Buddy, or will he start to pull back?

It feels like Border Czar Tom Homan struck out with his comments after the terrorist attack in New Orleans, which was committed by an American-born, GI Bill-educated Army veteran, who ended his service as a Staff Sergeant in the Reserves a few years ago, and the exploding Cybertruck outside a Trump property in Las Vegas, committed by an active-duty, highly decorated Green Beret. Homan, like others in the MAGA Camp, has pointed to the current administration's border policies as contributors. 

We're not out of the woods. This country is in grave danger. We need to secure that border, and despite what's happened in the last two days in Las Vegas and in New Orleans, this administration is not stopping. They're still releasing thousands of people every week... without proper vetting.

He also talked about the need to ramp up 'insider threat analysis', saying the Biden administration had put that "on the back burner," and warning

We've got two people who served in the military that (allegedly) committed these terrorist acts. We really need to dig down into insider threats in our military and our federal service. 

I don't want to be the bearer of bad news for the incoming administration, but I would be remiss if I didn't remind them that Pete Hegseth, the OAFP's pick to run the Defense Department, was once identified as a potential  "insider threat" because of his apparent affinity for white supremacist groups.

Hegseth, who has downplayed the role of military members and veterans in the Jan. 6, 2021, attack and railed against the Pentagon’s subsequent efforts to address extremism in the ranks, has said he was pulled by his District of Columbia National Guard unit from guarding Joe Biden’s January 2021 inauguration. He’s said he was unfairly identified as an extremist due to a cross tattoo on his chest.

It wasn't that tattoo that got him in trouble - it was another one, reported by a fellow Guard member.  

Sticking with New Orleans for a moment, media reports  say that the New Orleans terrorist left coolers containing IEDs on Bourbon Street, and that "security cameras showed multiple people stopping and looking at the coolers before walking away." I have to say that we all, collectively, deserve a bad week mention for that. 

Have we forgotten all the reporting on the importance of speaking up, of "if you see something, say something?" All the signage at airports and other transportation hubs about reporting unattended bags? Have we forgotten the Boston Marathon bombing? What to do when we see a suspicious package? 

It's a miracle the terrorist didn't have time to detonate the devices - the carnage, the death toll, the societal toll could have been so much worse if that had happened. We have to do better, for ourselves and others.

TGIF, everyone.

Wondering on Wednesday 11/13/24

 

Ready... Set... Wonder!

It's been a while since I've published my mid-week Wonderings, but today seems like as good a time as any to get back in the saddle. Let's dive in!

Our once and future president (OAFP) visited the White House today to shake hands with President Joe Biden. Current presidents welcoming incoming presidents is all about putting our best feet forward and letting the country know there'll be a smooth transition between administrations. 

I don't wonder, at all, why Biden invited the guy to stop by, even though he was denied the same courtesy four years ago. After all, one of these men is a decent human being, and the other threw paper towels to hurricane victims he didn't even know were Americans. 

Why the OAFP showed up is open to question. I doubt he cares about the transition; I'm sure it was for the cameras, and nothing else. I wonder if we'll see him selling trading cards of him standing over Biden during their handshake. 

Speaking of a smooth transition, Congress passed The Presidential Transition Enhancement Act a while back; the law requires the Democrat and Republican nominees to submit, no later than October 1st of a presidential election year, Memorandums of Understanding with the government related to transition activities, including 

(1) ...an agreement that the eligible candidate will implement and enforce an ethics plan to guide the conduct of the transition beginning on the date on which the eligible candidate becomes the President-elect.

47's team has yet to sign the overdue documents, so while the OAFP is busy lining up his minions, no official transition stuff can happen. If you're wondering what the holdup is, reports point to the ethics requirements. Shocked? I didn't think so. 

Speaking of minions, the joke is he doesn't have a Cabinet, he has a junk drawer, so there's no wonder it's shaping up to be a doozy:

• NY Congresswoman Elise Stefanik has been tapped to be the next Ambassador to the United Nations.  She's not known for her reasonable, even-tempered demeanor, and she's made a name for herself in two ways: her unwavering attacks on anyone who speaks ill of Israel and/or supports Palestinians, and for sucking up to Trump. 

• Another New Yorker, former Congressman Lee Zeldin, has been tapped to head the Environmental Protection Agency. His most notable qualification for this role, it seems, is his 14% approval rating from the League of Conservation Voters. 

• Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee is Trump's pick for Ambassador to Isreal. The first non-Jew to be chosen for this role, he believes that there's no such thing as 'the West Bank' and said that "of course" the annexation of that land is a possibility under the new administration.

• Fox News host (and husband of another Fox News host) Pete Hegseth has been picked to be the new Secretary of Defense. Now, he's not completely without qualification for the role - he is a veteran, after all. And he's got more than a passing familiarity with weapons of war, like these aromatic grenades.  How much of a shock was this, you might be wondering? Well, even his cohost was stunned. 

• Ethically challenged Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz has just been picked to be the Attorney General. This is so absurd, the only thing I'm wondering is if Rep. Jim Jordan turned it down first. 

• Also joining the administration from Florida are Secretary of State pick Sen. Marco Rubio and Rep. Mike Waltz, who's been chosen to be National Security Advisor.

• And moments ago, former Rep. Tulsi Gabbard, who's also a former Democrat and a big friend of Russia, was tapped to be the Director of National Security.  

Honestly, you can't make this stuff up.  If this first round of appointments is indicative of what's to come, I can't help wondering whether our allies are laughing or crying right now.

On the plus side? Most of these appointments will require the advice and consent of the Senate. But there's a catch here, that the OAFP is already lobbying for: recess appointments. Given the Rs are now in control of the Senate,  it seems unnecessary - and contrary to the principle of the Legislative branch being separate from but equal to the Executive.

Other presidents have used this mechanism to get stalled appointments through, but the OAFP seems to be plotting to have this be the rule, not the exception, even demanding that whoever became the new Senate Majority Leader had to agree to this foolishness.  I wonder if all the voters who thought they were electing someone who 'believed in the Constitution' had any idea who they really voted for? 

Speaking of the Senate Majority Leader, say hello to Sen. John Thune, the gentleman from South Dakota. He might be the most reasonable announcement of the day.

What's got you wondering these days?