OrangeVerse XXXVII: Giving Thanks

As he did last year, the president spent some quality time on the phone with members of the various branches of the military for Thanksgiving. 

And as I did last year, I found poetry in his words, although in the spirit of the season, I'm offering only one excerpt this time around.

Perhaps the rest of it will pop up in a different poetry reading; we'll see.

What are you most thankful, Mr. president?

For having a great family

and for having made 

a tremendous difference in this country.

I've made a tremendous difference

in the country.

This country is so much stronger now

than it was when I took office,

that you 

wouldn't

believe it.

And - I mean,

you see it,

but so much stronger

that people can't

even believe it.

When I see foreign leaders

they say,

"we cannot believe

the difference in strength

between the United States

now and the

United States

two years ago.

Made
a lot

of progress.

Thank you very much.

What's a Charitable Heart to Do?

I have found that, among its other benefits, 

giving liberates the soul of the giver. 

~Maya Angelou

Lots of folks give generously of their time or money throughout the year, but this is the particular 'season of giving' that inspires many folks to jump in and give, or give even more than usual, to help others.

Truth be told, it's almost impossible not to hear opportunity knocking, whether it's something you get in the mail, a personal appeal such as the Salvation Army bell ringers, or an 'add this coupon' solicitation at the grocery store checkout. And don't forget television commercials, and newspaper ads (yes, I still read the newspaper).  The hardest to avoid? The multitude of opportunities that bombard us on social media. 

You know the ones: fundraising for national events such as hurricanes and wildfires, which are sadly all too frequent lately; or medical charities like St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, dozens of cancer-related organizations, Planned Parenthood, and the like; animal rescue groups; and of course, many groups that devote their time and resources to active duty military and veterans. There is literally a charity for every cause imaginable, and for some that are unimaginable. 

And what could be wrong with these? A couple of things come to mind, first and foremost being the possibility that what we're seeing may be a scam. We've seen the headlines, right? Below are two from my neck of the woods:

• Police: Parents faked son's cancer to get donations
• Former charity CEO sentenced to prison
  

Some people will do anything to help themselves; other people will do anything to help others, including accidentally sharing fake or outdated information on social media, with the best of intentions. One share becomes five, becomes twenty, becomes fifty - and that's just the start of it. The outcome can be that people possessing a charitable heart end up doing something that won't fulfill their intentions - and that stinks.

How do you know if your desire to do good will result in good being done? Here are some quick options that might cost a bit of time, but will save in the end:

• Fact-check the information. Snopes.com and similar sites are not perfect, but if you enter a few keywords, you're apt to get a sense as to whether something is on the up and up, or if it's outdated information, which is more often the case.
• Look up the sponsoring charity on Facebook; often they'll have information about fundraising or other campaigns they are doing, as well as explanations for why they're not doing something you might see on social media. Check their other social media sites as well.
• Use one of the charity rating sites (CharityWatch, Charity Navigator, and similar) to learn more about the charity; be sure to check for any donor alerts or articles about the charity.

It's hard to escape Black Friday and Cyber Monday, with all of the fanfare, news stories, projections, and all of that. And of course, there's Small Business Saturday, too, designed to get people into the web and bricks-and-mortar doors of small companies.

Maybe a little less popular is Giving Tuesday, but it's a great opportunity to make a difference. On the website, you can search for local or national charities, pick a favorite, and make your donation. In some cases, donations might be matched, so keep your eyes peeled.

A few years back, I made the decision to support local charities instead of national organizations; keeping my charitable dollars local just makes more sense to me, especially when the national charities have so much already, have celebrity support, telethons, infomercials, etc. Meanwhile, local nonprofits sometimes struggle to keep critical programs alive - not just now, but throughout the year. 

If you want to optimize your giving to your desired charity, whether it's local or national, here are some additional things you might consider:

• If you're a PayPal user, consider the PayPal Giving Fund, which allows you to donate from your PayPal account directly to your favorite charity's PayPal account, without any fees. This is available year-round. 
• Reach out to charities in your own backyard to find out what they need, if they're running any campaigns, and so on. If you're not familiar with local organizations, try your United Way website, or go to Great Nonprofits to find some; you can filter by location, issue/cause, and rating. 
• Consider adding 3% to donations you make online to charities (some will ask you if you want to do this), which allows you to pay the fees and your charity to get the full value of your donation.
• If your charity offers a thank-you gift in return for your donation, look for the option to refuse it. This may seem like a small thing, but if everyone did that, the charity might be able to reduce its fundraising costs and use more of your money for the programs you want to support.

So, back to our central question - what's a charitable heart to do? 

Liberate your soul. Give freely to organizations and causes that matter to you, using trusted donation mechanisms. Don't be afraid to trust, but verify, even if it makes you feel 'judgy.'

While monetary donations are always welcomed, and sometimes preferred, 'giving freely' includes giving your time, offering your skills, or parting with your no-longer-needed, gently used clothing, furniture, or home goods. It's giving blood - or even your old car. Here's some info on car donations from the NY AG's office; check with similar agencies where you are.

Do as much good as you can, because all donations matter. Large or small, recurring or one-time, local or national - they all matter. 

OrangeVerse XX: Thanks Be to Me

The president talks to the military on Thanksgiving. I kid you not.

Better Me than You

Hello everybody and Happy Thanksgiving.

You're very very special

people to me and to

everybody in this country, 

that I can tell you...

We're going on live now,

and surrounding me

is a lot of press.

Better me than you, 

fellas, better me than you...

Giving Thanks

It's an honor to speak

with you all and

to give God thanks

for the blessings of freedom

and for the heroes who really have this 

tremendous courage that you do

to defend us and to defend freedom

so we want

to thank you all

very much,

very very special

people, like it

doesn't get more special.

Have You Seen My Colonel?

Representing the Army...

Colonel Toby and where is Toby?

Raise your hand Toby

where's Toby

Thank you Toby

 I hear so many good

things about you Toby

that's good news 

that Toby Magsig...

Everybody's Talkin' Bout Me (1)

I have to say just directly

to the folks in Afghanistan:

everybody's talking about the

progress you've made in the

last few months since I

opened it up. 

We opened it up we

said go ahead we're

gonna fight to win we're

not fighting anymore 

to just walk around we're

fighting to win and

you people are really

you've turned it around over

the last three to four months like

nobody's seen and 

They. Are. Talking.

about it so thank you very much.

Brave. Incredible. Fighters.

My Own Private Marine

Semper Fi. Semper Fi.

I have a great Marine

who's the chief of staff

as you know

John Kelly

doing an incredible job

just like any Marine would.

Everybody's Talkin' Bout Me (2)

...to you and all the Marines

doing this great work 

in delivering defeat

after defeat to ISIS

what you're doing with ISIS 

is again, being talked about.

We're being talked about

again as an armed forces. 

We're really winning.

We know how to win.

But we have to

let you win.

We weren't 

letting you win before.

We were letting

 you play even.

We're letting

 you win.

The Power of Positivity

The fight against ISIS,

it's coming our way.

They're coming our way -

big, big difference.

A lot of things

 have happened.

They say

we've made more progress

against ISIS

than they did in years

of the previous administration.

And that's because

I'm letting you

do your job.

We're very very proud of you

and believe me

everyone in this country

is watching and they're seeing

and they're seeing positive reports

for a change instead of

the neutral and negative reports.

It's all positive

One Two Three Four What the Hell are You Fighting For?

For each of you I know

it's hard to be away

from home at this time of

the year. We're doing well at home

the economy is doing really great

when you come back

you're going to see

with the jobs and the companies

coming back into our country and the

stock market just hit a record high

unemployment's the lowest 

it's been in seventeen years so

you're fighting for

something real

for something good.

 A lot of things

 have happened with

our country over

the last very short

period of time

and they're really good,

 they're really good.

I especially like

saying that companies

are starting to come back.

Now we're working on tax cuts,

big fat beautiful tax cuts

and hopefully

we'll get that and then

you're really gonna see things happen.

In Closing

So as we give thanks

for this holiday I know

I speak on behalf of

all Americans when I say that

we totally support you - in fact

we love you, we really do

we love you and this is a 

Thanksgiving that you won't forget.

You're in a very different part

of the world than you

 were used to but boy,

you're doing a job there and

thank God for you, thank God for you.

We also want to

give thanks to your loved ones

our amazing military families. 

I know they miss you and 

they miss you so deeply

and so badly.

They're every bit as

important as everyone

else who you work with

because they put up 

with so much they put up

with the time away

and all of those things

that they have to endure and 

they endure it

because they love our country 

and because they love you 

and believe me

I know so much 

about military families...

Trump in Transition (v24)

The president had the opportunity this week to lead the nation in its first big holiday since the inauguration. 

Oh sure, there was Valentine's Day, and Good Friday, and Memorial Day; Independence Day and Flag Day (his birthday, I think I read somewhere); Labor Day, and Columbus Day and even Veteran's Day - but this is the first bigly darn deal holiday for Donald Trump, and he has done everything in his power to rise to the occasion.  Take a look:

As we gather together with our families on Thanksgiving and give thanks for our many blessings, we are reminded of the national family to which we all belong as citizens of this incredible country. This Thursday, as we give thanks for our cherished loved ones, let us also renew our bonds of trust, loyalty and affection between our fellow citizens as members of a proud national family of Americans.

This is not the first time Trump has echoed the desire that we renew our affection for each other. For example, here's one set of his comments in response to Charlottesville:

And as I have said many times before: No matter the color of our skin, we all live under the same laws, we all salute the same great flag, and we are all made by the same almighty God. We must love each other, show affection for each other, and unite together in condemnation of hatred, bigotry and violence. We must rediscover the bonds of love and loyalty that bring us together as Americans.

Here's another example, again from his Charlottesville comments:

...We have to come together as Americans with love for our nation and true affection - really, I say this so strongly, true affection for each other. 

The problem is, no matter how hard he tells us that we have to have true affection for each other, he simply cannot find a way to do this himself. 

Ask Jeff Flake:

Or Al Franken:

Or Hillary Clinton:

There are more, of course - the examples come almost daily, sometimes more than once a day, from the president of the United States.

My Thanksgiving wish for him is that he find true affection, - I cannot state it strongly enough - true affection for his fellow man while he's at his Winter White House and that he come back refreshed and fully transitioned into presidential mode after his holiday.

The Waiting, on Thanksgiving

I'm sitting in my comfy recliner with a sleeping kitty on my lap, looking at the first of I'm not sure how many Christmas trees will be up before the end of the month, a steaming mug of half and half (coffee and dark chocolate almond milk) on the table, thinking about Thanksgiving.

Last year, we spent Thanksgiving with my family at the old farmhouse in Vermont where my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew live.  Everything was delicious: dinner; the conversation; wandering around outside with the dogs; my nephew's apple-launching gun; the fresh eggs we used to make French toast on Friday morning; the wide plank floors in the oldest part of the house, where our room was, at the top of one of those steep old staircases. We all took a walk up to the top of the hill before dinner, and I was reminded of another Thanksgiving hike, some 45-odd years ago.

My Dad and I had decided to take a walk one Thanksgiving; the turkey was in the oven and it was the start of The Waiting, that period of time that only happens once a year, at our house. It starts when the pale, cold turkey goes into the oven, then builds as the house fills with the aroma of the bird cooking, and ends hours later when it comes out, richly browned, juicy (never dry), bursting with flavor, and joins all of the fixings on the table.

We started out with a plan of sorts: we'd head around the corner and aim for the woods off Liberty Street, a short walk from the house. There were trails leading from the dirt road into the woods, carved by years of kids walking and running through the vines that hung thickly from the trees, crisscrossing the hillside in every direction. We wandered, following the trails until we came out of the woods, on the crest of a hill, farther away from home than we had anticipated, but not so far as to turn back.

If we go this way, Dad said, pointing generally south, we should come out near Yawney's farm on Brutus Road, and we can walk home from there. Sounds good, I think I said - because why not? It was Thanksgiving, and it was during The Waiting. So we walked and talked, although I don't remember what we really talked about. Knowing him, and knowing me, it was probably current events or sports or whatever show we were watching on television that year, or something in the paper. Maybe about school. Just conversation, father and daughter, teacher and student, walking through fields.

We crossed over an old barbed wire fence and low stone wall or two, meandering more west than south it seemed, longer than we thought we would. We were damp - it was November, after all, and we were walking through fields and brush and tall grass. I can feel my nose running, and Dad's handkerchief, and burdocks, and laughter. And I remember a point at which we decided we needed to 'get somewhere', because it felt like soon, The Waiting would be over, and Mom would not be happy if we were not back; we had things to do, Dad and I, when the turkey came out of the oven, and even before.

Onward we pressed, looking for some sign of civilization, and finally came out from a small grove of trees to see a house that we recognized. We had not gone south towards Yawney's - not so much. We had gone almost due west, and had come out on Pump Road, several houses away from where Mom and Dad's friends Ron and Doje Marks lived. It was our Aha moment - we are saved! - as we jumped across the ditch, onto dry pavement, and headed off up the middle of the road, making much better time now, to get to Marks' house, call Mom, and get a ride home. Surprise all around, I remember.

We were a mess - wet, covered with all kinds of debris (derbis, Dad always said) - but we were happy, and Mom wasn't too terribly mad (at least, not in front of me), and Thanksgiving was delicious - the dinner, the conversation, the wide plank floors in our old house, and my room at the top of the stairs at the end of a long, crazy, happy day.

We weren't able to make the trip to Vermont this year, so even though it's only going to be the two of us, I'm still cooking a full dinner. I'll get up and get my turkey ready in the morning, and then, I think I'll drag my husband out for a walk around the neighborhood, during The Waiting.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thangksiving

I thought about doing an all-new Thanksgiving post again this year, but in the end I decided against it. Not because I have nothing to say - like that will ever happen! -- but because there are thousands of bloggers who will be posting millions of words  today and tomorrow, and ultimately we're all probably going to write about the same themes.

You know: family and loved ones (those still here and those who have passed); memories of holidays back in the day; lists of things for which they are thankful; and the obligatory pictures of cooking, dinner tables, and the aftermath, the men sprawled on various couches in various states of turkey- and carb-induced torpor. Buzzfeed has some examples if you need a chuckle. Slate also chimes in on this.

Instead, I took another look at posts I had done for Thanksgivings past.

In 2013, I relived the story of Thanksgiving 1978, when I was an insecure college dropout traveling to my six-years-older-boyfriend's family gathering, something for which I was hopelessly ill-equipped, but which didn't kill me. And you know what they say about things that don't kill you: they make you stronger. And more appreciative of things. Here's an excerpt:

I remember being dropped at the bus station, and wondering if I was doing the right thing, not being home for Thanksgiving. I remember getting a small floral arrangement, a peace offering for his mother, And holding it on the bus from Syracuse to Jersey, trying hard not to spill it (it spilled). And it seemed so puny once I handed it over to her.

Last year, the post was a little different; it fell nicely into my Wondering on Wednesday theme, which (note to self) I just noticed I haven't been keeping up to date. Rather than the nostalgic musings of the year before, this post was full of pressing questions, such as:

If a male turkey's name is Tom, what's the female's name?  

Nobody answered me on that, so if know the answer or you've got a good guess or a suggestion, drop me a comment.

This year, I'm not cooking Thanksgiving dinner -- for the first time in 20 year or so, maybe even 25 years. I'm struggling a little - it's just always been 'my holiday', if you know what I mean. The special platter, and the special candles, and special dishes, and the little $5 antique potato masher that my Sweet Baboo - my now husband - loves so much.

But it will be fine, and it will be fun, and we will make new memories, just as we would if I had been the one slaving in the kitchen for days. Hmm... maybe I have the theme for next year's post?

Happy Thanksgiving - safe travels, wonderful memories, and well wishes.   

Wondering, on Wednesday (v12)

Random thoughts this Thanksgiving Eve, which have got me wondering on Wednesday.

If no one showed up for Black Friday sales, whether they happen the Friday after Thanksgiving or on Thanksgiving itself, would stores stop having them?  And if it really mattered to us that everyone had Thanksgiving Day off, wouldn't we all get our grocery shopping done by Wednesday?

If you were to go out shopping for that one great deal, what would you be shopping for?

I wonder if the Macy's ad this year will include the "there's no greater way to show your love" $99 engagement ring they had last year?

Speaking of ads, there was a little box in the paper the other day, telling me that my Thanksgiving paper would cost more than a usual Thursday paper, because it had all the ads.  It won't come postage due or anything, but my subscription will end sooner because of it.  I'm wondering, since the difference in price is not a full day's worth, if they're going to put a self-destruct timer on my paper sometime next spring?

Is it really possible that a pardoned turkey could have been eaten by the Pardoner-in-Chief? Egads!

And who knew that those articles on the cost of Thanksgiving Dinner were so out of whack? I mean, it doesn't even include mashed potatoes! Or that the survey is done before Halloween, when everything is full price?  The 16-pound turkey the article says cost $23.36 would cost $7.68 at most grocery stores in my neck of the woods.

If the male turkey is named Tom, what's the female's name?

Happy Thanksgiving; may you, your families and friends all travel safely, arrive on time, and don't forget to tell whoever did the cooking that everything was delicious. Celebrate what you're thankful for, and try and add to that list each year; it's one that can never be too long.

Thanksgiving 1978

Yesterday I was talking to a friend at work about Thanksgiving, and she outlined her schedule for the weekend: pick up daughter at college Tuesday night, pick up daughter's boyfriend at college on Wednesday, take boyfriend back on Friday, take daughter back on Sunday. The kids go to the same school; he's on the basketball team, so he has to be on campus longer before the break and sooner after Thanksgiving. The daughter has to be off campus all weekend. Given the weather that's heading our way from two directions, I'm hoping all of her trips back and forth to Buffalo are uneventful.

When we were talking, I jokingly suggested that The Boy take the bus, and it made me remember one year where I did exactly that, took the bus to spend Thanksgiving with my boyfriend's family.

Ah, the memories. I was 19, he was 25. I had dropped out of college and was working in Syracuse. He had graduated from the same college a couple of years before I got there, and was working in Painted Post, down in Steuben County. I was small town, Methodist, 'teacher-middle-class'.  His family was wealthy, Jewish, New Jersey real estate business.  He and I were very much alike, but his family and mine were worlds apart.

I remember being dropped at the bus station, and wondering if I was doing the right thing, not being home for Thanksgiving. I remember getting a small floral arrangement, a peace offering for his mother. And holding it on the bus from Syracuse to Jersey, trying hard not to spill it (it spilled).  And it seemed so puny once I handed it over to her.

I remember agonizing over what to wear, what to bring, what on earth to say, and hoping that his folks were 'normal' like I knew normal to be. Oh, how I hoped. 

I thought his dad was nice, his mother scary; his brother was a hoot. I remember being exceptionally grateful that 'the kids' were allowed to be kids and not required to spend inordinate amounts of time with the 'rents.

I remember the house, with a great (giant!) room in the center, parents wing off to one side, kids wing off to the other. In the middle of the great room was a pool table, I think, which was transformed into a glorious dining room table, absolutely gorgeous.  There were high school kids who helped serve, clear, clean up. It was all very tasteful and frightening to me. I think I might have said ten words at dinner. I remember an art opening for his aunt, a painter. And cousins I would never see again.

I was happy to be home, when the weekend was over - not happy to leave him, but happy to be home.

We didn't make it as a couple -- not because of that Thanksgiving - but many years later, we reconnected, and still are in touch. We talked about that weekend once, and I mentioned how I had thought his Dad liked me and his mother didn't. He told me with a chuckle that his father liked everyone, so that didn't mean much, and that his mother didn't dislike me specifically, it was just that like many moms, no one was good enough. (My mom thought he wasn't the right one for me, either, naturally.  Apparently, the moms were right).

This Thanksgiving story is not really about the bus trip and the whirlwind  fish-out-of-water weekend in New Jersey: it's about coming of age, leaving the family for the first time on a holiday, taking the step towards independence.

It's about coming home, and finding comfort in the familiar, which helps us get through the unfamiliar. It's about memories, and how they grow softer sometimes, and fonder, as time passes.

I have much to be thankful for - all the things I mentioned last year and more, including memories of holidays past - and hope you do as well.

Happy Thanksgiving.

A Baker's Dozen

In no particular order, thirteen things I'm thankful for:

Endless reasons for laughing. I find when I take two chuckles and giggle in the morning, I have a much better day than I might otherwise.

 A job I find very satisfying, even when it boggles my mind. Most days come with challenges, which is a good thing; so far they've not been insurmountable, which is a better thing.

Readers of veritable pastiche, the people who willingly put their time into my effort.  

Rejuvenation, in all its forms: friends, family, vacations, our garden, my camera...There are few things that help me move forward more than taking a few steps back, or sideways, and coming back with a fresh perspective.

Patrick, My Sweet Baboo. After ten years, he continues to have an immeasurable impact on my life.

Knowing that people who knew my Dad well hear his voice in my writing.

Having the wherewithal to support organizations that help make a difference in other people’s lives.

The next generation. They have their own challenges, but I enjoy watching them work to figure things out.

Good health, and good health insurance.

My Mom, an amazing woman who inspires others to be amazing. No matter what gets thrown in her path, she gracefully finds a way to stay on track.

Living in Central New York. There are many worse places to be, and likely some better, but none that I’ve found compelling enough to inspire me to move.

Having a say, and having choices, things I sometimes take for granted. Whether by fate or by design, for many folks these would be considered luxuries. 

Connections. Regardless of how they’re made - in person, on the phone, via social media - or their frequency, I'm grateful to have them.
 

Happy Thanksgiving.