Highlights from the RNC: Opening Night

You owe me, big time. 

Here are my carefully curated highlights from the opening night of the Republican National Convention.

Charlie Kirk.

We will be a country that makes it easier to have many children, live quiet and peaceable lives, and worship your God without a tyrant getting in the way. (Young Mr. Kirk must be representing the pro-lots-of-life segment of the party?)

Rep. Jim Jordan 

President Trump has fought against each of their crazy ideas. He’s taken on the swamp, all of the swamp, the Democrats, the press, and the neverTrumpers. When you take on the swamp, the swamp fights back, they tried the Russia hoax, the Mueller investigation and the fake impeachment. (Right...Donald Trump will always be an impeached president.)

Herschel Walker, former Celebrity Apprentice Contestant

Just because someone loves and respect the flag, our national anthem and our country doesn’t mean they don’t care about social justice. (Recall video of the president respectfully mauling the flag at CPAC, and of course respectfully 'conducting' and fake singing the national anthem at his private club.)

Vernon Jones.

The Democratic party does not want black people to leave their mental plantation. We’ve been forced to be there for decades and generations, but I have news for Joe Biden. We are free. We are free people with free minds. (This is actually an interesting argument.)

 Kimberly Guilfoyle, Donny Trump's girlfriend

As a first generation American, I know how dangerous their socialist agenda is. My mother, Mercedes, was a special education teacher from Aguadilla, Puerto Rico. My father, also an immigrant, came to this nation in pursuit of the American dream. Now, I consider it my duty to fight to protect that dream. (Um, Puerto Ricans have been US citizens since 1917, so I'm guessing you're at least a second-generation American...)

Sean Parnell, GOP House candidate. 

The party of Harry Truman became the party of hedge fund managers, Hollywood celebrities, tech, moguls, and university professors, all bloated with contempt for middle America. I stand here tonight, calling on all Americans to join us. It doesn’t matter what you look like, who you love, how you worship, your gender, or your job. (We do, of course, reserve the right to discriminate against you no matter what you look like, who you love, how you worship, your gender, or your job.)

Nikki Haley 

There’s one more important area where our president is right. He knows that political correctness and cancel culture are dangerous and just plain wrong. (Let's ask the folks at Goodyear, or Nike, or Macy's, or Harley-Davidson, the NFL, AT&T, HBO, Rolling Stone, New York Magazine, Univision, Apple, CNN...) 

Donny Jr.  

Joe Biden is basically the Loch Ness Monster of the swamp. Freedom of expression used to be a liberal value, at least before the radical left took over. Now the Republican party is the home of free speech. (See above under Parnell and Haley.)

Sen. Tim Scott.

Trust me though, after seven years in the Senate, I know I’m not the only one in Congress who failed civics. (I'll give him that one, for sure. I'm assuming he's including Mitch McConnell, who denies senators the opportunity to do their jobs and denies Americans their right to representation in the Senate, and negates the work of House members of both parties.)

If you want the rah-rah stuff, it's in the transcript.