Stepping away for a moment for a standing ovation is fine; I did the same, I surely did. And I remembered reading about the 42-minute-long standing ovation Leontyne Price received at the Met back in '61, and immediately thought that Trump will get a longer one if he loses.
He'd be proud of that, I'm sure, and he'd tout it in his next book, I'm sure, as one of his great accomplishments:
When I lost the rigged election, it was rigged and I fought but in the end I lost because everyone was against me, the deep state and the IRS and Pelosi and even the Supreme Court, after I put those three judges there, they all turned on me in the end, you can't trust anyone these days, they turned on me, and all the blue state governors I helped so much during the pandemic when they were nice to me - I helped them, even they admit it, just ask them, at least they did admit it when it was good for them but not any longer, I guess - I got the greatest standing ovation, probably even greater than the late, great Abraham Lincoln - he was almost as great as me, they say, at least some people say, maybe, I don't think he even comes close, really, but that's what they say - "Sir, Lincoln was almost as great a president as you," that's what they say, I don't know; I got the greatest standing ovation since Lincoln attended that play, or maybe since that black lady sang that song in NYC, horrible what happened to NYC, I used to love it there, but I had to move, like everyone else, bodies piling up everywhere, and taxes, it's horrible what de Blasio and Cuomo did to my city - she was an opera singer, right? I didn't know blacks could sing opera, did you? And she wasn't even fat - how can you sing opera if you're not fat? I mean, that's where the whole 'it ain't over 'til the fat lady sings' come from, right? Fat lady opera singers? It's a good thing they can sing, no one likes a fat lady, right? I remember one time I said I'd go into the crowd at one of my rallies and kiss all the beautiful women, and the good-looking men, and I even said I'd kiss the rest of them, but not, you know, the 'opera singers,' if you know what I mean... Great ovation I got - the people stood and clapped for hours, not just 42 minutes like they did for her. I think some of them are probably still clapping now. Greatest ovation ever, by far, especially if you count the internet and all the networks, even MSDNC and fake news CNN and the papers, the failing New York Times and the Bezos Post and all the rest, add it all up and it was probably the greatest standing ovation since Jesus. I love the evangelicals, and they love me, and I can imagine how hard they clapped for me, all I did for them. I did a lot for them, and they know it, and they hopefully will never forget it. What an ovation, it was really something, wasn't it? Greatest ovation ever.
Anyway, back to the debate.
Kristen Welker of NBC was the first debate moderator of the modern era - the era in which we use long-available technology to threaten to silence, or actually silence both the loudmouth bully and the folksier interrupter, so that we could actually hear their messages.
At the beginning of the festivities, the president looked for all practical intents and purposes as if he was sedated. He seemed to more resemble the cardboard cutout of him I have in the corner of my office, with an impeached sign hanging around his neck, than the image he typically presents. Whether it was drugs, or some kind of shocking device (maybe Melania had a voice-activated one hidden in her mask?
I told the Donald, he can't keep bullying everyone. He needs to #BeBest and like a great First Lady, I will help my husband when he needs me. I know the signs and when I see them, I will shock his bone spurs and he will straighten up and he will not be a bully to the poor old man or to the woman at the desk. He needs to be nicer to the woman at the desk, he needs the women to vote for him. Or we will have to go home. Except we can't go home because he moved us Florida. I miss New York. There is nothing to do in Florida. Maybe if my voice thing doesn't #BeBest I can go home. I want to go home. Je veux aller a la maison. Quiero ir a casa. Ich will nach Hause gehen. Voglio andare a casa. If it doesn't work, "I don't really care, do u?"
Anyway, they talked about a bunch of stuff, including the pandemic, American families, race in American, climate change, national security and leadership. The president talked about himself, and about Biden's money and "houses all over the place" which was one of the funniest things he's ever said, and about Obamacages and about maybe one day having a thought about having an idea about having a great health insurance plan and protecting pre-existing conditions, as if the goal is to make sure people have them, not that they have insurance that covers them. Biden talked about the people, and about being a president for everyone whether they voted for him or not, and about not China, and about who the president was running against.
If I were to sum up the night as simplistically as possible, it would be like this: in Donald Trump's world, we'll be kept all warm and fuzzy by surrounding ourselves with piles of really outstanding 401(k) statements and oil company stock certificates and drugs and vaccines while we sit in bars sharing food off the plates of strangers, and if we need them, we have cages for people who don't want to do that, really nice cages Obama built, while in Biden's world, we'll be kept all warm and fuzzy by masks and by surrounding ourselves with allies that trust us, and 'we' includes everyone no matter where they live, even if they were brought here as babies and toddlers from another country by their parents.
Of course, all of this could be just the hangover fog from the cider donuts and wine that I consumed during the debate.
#MAGAMA. Please, vote like your life depends on it. Because it does.
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