Wondering on Wednesday (v183)

I don't know about you, but I'd say 'WoW' sure fits today.

Right off the bat, we've got an unhinged Rudy Giuliani doing an interview with Fox and Friends that would have left the hosts slack-jawed had they not been clenching their teeth to keep their mouths from allowing huge peals of laughter to spill forth. I wonder how they managed to do that? I mean, there were several times when I literally (not just Joe Biden literally) laughed out loud listening to Rudy. Do you think they practiced the stone-faced look while watching his interview with Chris Cuomo?

And next batter up, we've got the Official Readout of president Trump's conversation with Ukrainian President Zelensky, which is widely being referred to as "the transcript" by most people. And what does the readout say?  Let's take a look; and yes, I've taken the liberty of bolding parts of the conversation if you want to skim.

Zelensky was very complimentary to Trump, saying he learned a lot from him on how to run a campaign, and he'd like to keep running so he can keep talking to Trump; he even mentioned 'draining the swamp' in his country.

Trump, as you might imagine, lapped all of that up. And then, he got down to business. For anyone who looks at this and says there's nothing threatening here, I would strongly disagree.

...I will say that we do a lot for Ukraine. We spend a lot of effort and a lot of time. Much more than the European countries are doing and they should be helping you more than they are. Germany does almost nothing for you. All they do is talk and I think it's something that you should really ask them about. When I was speaking to Angela Merkel she talks Ukraine, but she doesn't do anything. A lot of the European countries are the same way so I think it's something you want to look at but the United States has been very very good to Ukraine. I wouldn't say that it's reciprocal necessarily because things are happening that are not good but the United States has been very very good to Ukraine. 

Got it? You're a former comedian, reality star guy who ends up president, talking to a guy who has to be your idol, and you're not supposed to get a message from that?

Zelensky does get the message, saying Trump is not just 100% correct, but 1000% correct, and how the European Union should be doing more but the US is technically the bigger partner. And he expressed that they were "almost ready" to purchase more weapons from us, which of course is literally music to Trump's ears - nothing more important than selling our weapons to foreign countries, right?

And then Trump said this:

I would like you to do us a favor though because our country has been through a lot and Ukraine knows a lot about it. I would like you to find out what happened with this whole situation with Ukraine, they say Crowdstrike ... I guess you have one of your wealthy people... The server, they say Ukraine has it. There are a lot of things that went on, the whole situation. I think you are surrounding yourself with some of the same people. I  would like to have the Attorney General call you or your people and I would like you to get to the bottom of it. As you saw yesterday, that whole nonsense ended with a very poor performance by a man named Robert Mueller, an incompetent performance- but they say a lot of it started with Ukraine. Whatever you can do, it's very important that you do it if that's possible. 

I want you to find out what happened, I'll have my people call your people, I would like you to get to the bottom of it...  Trump didn't come right out and say, yeah, maybe those arms sales won't be happening, and he didn't mention the hundreds of millions in aid that he ordered held up, but did he really have to?

Zelensky confirms his understanding, like a gambler would when threatened with collection action by his bookie.

Yes it is very important for me and everything that you just mentioned earlier. For me as a President it is very important and we are open for any future cooperation. We are ready to open a new page on cooperation in relations between the United States and Ukraine.

He talks about getting a new ambassador to the US, noting he's looking to see "trust and confidence" on Trump's part here, to allow for "cooperation even more so." And then, he tells Trump, hey - we're already dealing with your people on this stuff, and you're among friends - and provides additional reassurance that the message has been received.

I will personally tell you that one of my assistants spoke with Mr. Giuliani just recently and we are hoping very much that Mr. Giuliani will be able to travel to Ukraine and we will meet once  he comes to Ukraine. I just wanted to assure you once again that you have nobody but friends around us... I also wanted to tell you that we are friends. We are great friends and you Mr. President have friends in our country so we can continue our strategic partnership. I also plan to surround myself with great people and in addition to that investigation, I guarantee as the President of Ukraine that all the investigations will be done openly and candidly. That I can assure you. 

Trump comes back with a strong second serve, getting the Bidens into the mix. He also plays up the importance of this piece of the puzzle, even though everyone - the US government, the IMF, the EU - agrees it did not happen the way Trump presents it.

Good because I heard you had a prosecutor who was very good and he was shut down and that's really unfair. A lot of people are talking about that, the way they shut your very good prosecutor down and you had some very bad people involved. Mr. Giuliani is a highly respected man. He was the mayor of New York City, a great mayor, and I would like him to call you. I will ask him to call you along with the Attorney General. Rudy very much knows what's happening and he is a very capable guy. If you could speak to him that would be great. The former ambassador from the United States, the woman, was bad news and the people she was dealing with in the Ukraine were bad news so I just want to let you know that. The other thing, there's a lot of talk about Biden's son, that Biden stopped the prosecution and a lot of people want to find out about that so whatever you can do with the Attorney General would be great. Biden went around bragging that he stopped the prosecution so if you can look into it ... It sounds horrible to me.

Zelensky allows as how since he holds the parliament the new prosecutor will be "100% my person" and will start in September and will look into things, "specifically to the company that you mentioned in this issue." And then, knowingly or not, he invites the conspiracy theorists into the mix.

... I would kindly ask you if you have any additional information that you can provide to us, it would be very helpful for the investigation to make sure that we administer justice in our country.

He also thanks Trump for tipping him off to the previous ambassador being bad. Trump reiterates he'll have his people get in touch with Zelensky, and then dangles a carrot.

Well, she's going to go through some things. I will have Mr. Giuliani give you a call and I am also going to have Attorney General Barr call and we will get to the bottom of it.  I'm sure you will figure it out. I heard the prosecutor was treated very badly and he was a very fair prosecutor so good luck with everything. Your economy is going to get better and better I predict. You have a lot of assets. It's a great country. I have many Ukrainian friends, they're incredible people.

You found the carrot, right, about the economy getting better? Is that just going to happen organically, or are we going to be player in that, I wonder? Bet Zelensky knows the answer, depending of course on how those investigations go.

The Ukrainian then adds another dose of flattery, saying he stayed at Trump Tower the last time he came to New York, and then he did exactly what someone under 'no pressure whatsoever' would do - he promises again to take care of business, and then tosses out his own carrot, which was well played. I guess he has been studying the Trump playbook.

I also wanted to thank you for your invitation to visit the United States, specifically Washington DC. On the other hand, I also wanted to (assure) you that we will be very serious about the case and will work on the investigation. As to the economy, there is much potential for our two countries and one of the issues that is very important for Ukraine is energy independence. I believe we can be very successful (in) cooperating on energy independence with the United States. We are already working on cooperation. We are buying American oil but I am very hopeful for a future meeting. We will have more time and more opportunities to discuss these opportunities and get to know each other better. I would like to thank you very much for your support.

Happy that his message was received, Trump's ready to wrap things up, but not without mentioning yet again Rudy and Barr.

Good. Well, thank you very much and I appreciate that. I will tell Rudy and Attorney General Barr to call. Thank you. Whenever you would like to come to the White House, feel free to call. Give us a date and we'll work that out. I look forward to seeing you.

Zelensky must have missed the cue that the call was over, now that he had committed to doing what Trump wanted. Suggesting they get together in Ukraine after a meeting in Poland, he says

We can either take my plane and go to Ukraine or we can take your plane, which is probably much better than mine.

I love that last part: you've got a better plane, let's take yours. He's still got a bit of the comedian in him, don't you think? And maybe he was trying to let Trump he had nothing to worry about?

But on the important stuff:

• Don't wonder whether this was a shakedown: it was.
• Don't wonder whether this was inappropriate: it was.
• Don't wonder whether this was ethical: it was not.
• Don't wonder whether this was a normal conversation: it wasn't.
• Don't wonder whether there was pressure on Ukraine: there was.

And don't wonder whether a quid pro quo was on the table: There was.  It wasn't directly expressed (do this or we won't sell arms to you, for example) but there is certainly an implied quid pro quo in Trump's comments:

• we're good to you, better than Europe, but you're not reciprocating.
• You do me a favor or two, and I predict your economy is going to start doing much better.
• It's very important that you look in to these issues.
• Speak to my personal attorney, that would be great, speak to the Attorney General, that would be great, that would be appreciated. Talk to them, and you can come visit me any time.

There was clear understanding that Zelensky had received the message, whether he recognizes or  admits he was being pressured on the call or not. After all, how can he say no to his country's biggest supporter, the country that protects him, the country with a petulant, retaliatory child sitting in the president's chair? 

A nothingburger? Who knew Trump could be so nice?  Everyone can wonder how those two statement can be associated with this call.