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It's about the One Big Beautiful Ballroom Activities, or OBBBA, which we know is one of the most very favorite FOTUS topics, right up there with the Arc de Trump, and painting the Reflection Pool/Pond/Lake 'American Flag Blue' and using 23.75 carat gold on the four bronze statues, and painting the granite of Executive Office Building one of several different white options, because everyone paints granite right?
The news isn't getting any better, but at least the poetry isn't getting any worse... I mean, the bar is on the ground already.
The Great Room of China
I just visited China
They have this magnificent room,
The Great Room.
They call
it The Great Room.
It's a great room
but what we have is gonna blow,
there
won't be anything like it,
It's gonna be fantastic.
And with all of the things
that are
going along with it
for safety and security
of future presidents.
You
know, I'm only gonna be
using it for about six months,
assuming we finish it
right on time.
Upstairs, Downstairs
I get to use it. Somebody said,
"He's building it for
himself."
I'm building it for the future.
I'm not build, like, I'll use it.
Now, had it not gone down six or seven stories,
then, in that case, I would
have been able
to get a couple of years out of it.
But that was far more
complex,
what we did downstairs
than what we do upstairs so,
uh, we're very
proud of it.
That is gonna be amazing.
Talk is Cheap
And I think I was just telling, uh,
the whole group sitting
at the table,
we were talking about it.
I said, "I think, you know, it's
White House Correspondents, so I
don't see any reason why you
wouldn't be able
to use that.
It's gonna be
very large and
very beautiful and
very safe and
that's what you need."
Fetterman the Betterman
So I was thrilled
to see that after witnessing
the
attack, even Democrat Senator
John Fetterman
told his fellow Democrats to drop
the
Trump Derangement Syndrome
and build the White House ballroom,
but it's
much more than that.
Czech, Please
It's something that you're gonna use.
I predict that you're
gonna end up using it
and, uh, a lot of people are gonna end up using it.
They're gonna be as safe as you can possibly be.
But despite everything that
happened
at the previous dinner
and all of the dangers involved,
I'm told that
this is still
the hottest ticket in town, this ticket
to get in tonight,
because it's
a smaller room,
it's a beautiful room,
it's a luxury room.
See those beautiful chandeliers?
I can tell you everything
about them if you'd like to know.
[Laughter]
A Beautiful Capital
See that beautiful capital above?
See the beautiful capital?
See the, everything, the brass.
Uh, those
chandeliers are great.
I, I'm looking at them saying,
"I wonder if I could
--"
You know, I sold this building.
And, uh, they're doing a nice job,
but they're nice people.
But I'll tell you, I'm looking at them saying,
"I wonder if I could walk
out with those chandeliers"
because you can't buy them.
They're very
special.
I won't tell you the fact.
I won't mention that
they're Czech crystal,
because I'd like to say
everything's made here,
but they are Czech crystal.
[Laughter]
I'm Floored
And they are beautiful.
And the Waldorf people are
doing a really nice job.
We're
proud of them,
actually, because, you know,
when I left town,
I was angry.
I
was a little bit angry.
I was offered a nice price.
I said, "I'm getting
out of that place."
And then I said, "Let's make a comeback."
And, uh, but I was very proud of this building.
This building was hot.
Remember the lobby floor?
82,000
feet.
For those in the
real estate business,
82,000 feet.
That's a major,
that's a major floor.
That thing was packed
every single night.
It was packed
mostly Republicans,
I would say, but it was
packed every single night.
It
almost brings back memories.
What a Feeling!
But, uh, I left town and,
uh, I have just had nothing
but
good experiences. And
this might be the best
experience of all, having all of
these
incredible people in this room.
It's a great, it's a great feeling,
frankly. It's a great feeling.
But tonight's event, thank you.
Thank you. But
tonight's event
is even crazier than the last time.
A Hot Lotta Money
It's so successful that I've
been informed by CBS
News's
David Ellison,
who's gonna do a fantastic job.
He's the owner.
He's the
owner.
He bought it,
spent a lot of money,
and he's gonna make,
I think,
fantastic changes
and keep some of the
great stuff going.
But the next year,
they're going to call it
the Trump White House
Correspondents' (Dinner).
He told me that.
And I like that very much.
We're gonna
change the name of it, okay?
Well, it's gonna be so hot,
just like our country
is hot.
We are hot, by the way. But to be honest,
it's just about the only way
that they're gonna ever get me back here.
You're gonna have to change the name
of the dinner.
Hey Bobby? What's For Dinner?
But how's that one going?
Not too good. I hope
that everyone
finally got to enjoy
their entire very delicious
beef tenderloins, very special
beef.
And I want you all to know
that Bobby Kennedy,
who's right here,
personally
ran over the cow in his car.
[Laughter]
Boom.
And he cut it up and
he brought it here for you to eat
tonight, so it's very fresh.
And Bobby also suggested
an appetizer featuring
his favorite
cut of
male raccoon
roadkill.
[Laughter]
But we drew the line at that,
Cheryl.
We said, "No, we're
not gonna do that." We're not doing that.
We love
Bobby. I'll tell you.
He's a piece of work.
You think it's, it is fun,
but he
is a very different
kind of a person,
I will tell you.
[Laughter]
What a Feeling
But he has
what it takes
and he's smart.
And he loves
the country.
And he
wants people
to
be made
to feel good.
Do you agree
with that, Bobby?
He wants people
to feel
good.
And, uh, he's
doing a fantastic job.
Thank you, Bobby.
Thank you.
We can
joke
all we want,
but thank you.
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