April 9, 2022

OrangeVerse LX: The World According to Me

When you're a twice-impeached former president searching for relevance, you can always find willing accomplices in the media. There's your Most Favored Networks, of course and there's the always-willing ears working for other media outlets. 

You know, like the Washington Post, which published a recap of an interview just this week. 

And there's people like me, who transform those boring interviews into something much more, I don't know, literarily significant. Poetry, that is. Purely orange poetic gold, or something.

Here's the latest, from the WaPo interview, starting with his take on the attack on the Capitol.

Too Blind to See
I thought it was a shame, 
and I kept asking 
why isn’t she doing 
something about it? 
Why isn’t Nancy Pelosi 
doing something about it? 
And the mayor of DC also. 
The mayor of DC and Nancy Pelosi
 are in charge. 
I hated seeing it. 
I hated seeing it. 
And I said, it's
got to be taken care of, 
and I assumed they were
taking care of it.

Others were supposed to take care of his mess - and a bigly mess it was.

January 2017 Was Big, But...
The crowd was far bigger 
than I even thought. I believe it was the
 largest crowd I’ve ever spoken to. 
I don’t know what that means
but you see very few pictures.
They don’t want to show pictures, 
the fake news doesn’t want 
to show pictures.
But this was a 
tremendous 
crowd.

About that gap in the White House call logs, when the gals were  in charge?

Phone Calls? Who Cares?
From the standpoint of 
telephone calls, I don’t 
remember getting very 
many. Why would I care 
about  who called me? 
If congressmen were 
calling me, what 
difference did it make? 
There was nothing 
secretive about it. 
There was no secret.

Let's move on to foreign policy stuff...

People, People Thinking NATO
A lot of people 
are a little bit surprised,
I think they’re 
very impressed with Ukraine, 
but they’re not impressed
 with what NATO is doing, 
because a lot of people
 think NATO 
could be doing more.

Volodymyr, My Dear
I liked Zelenskyy 
from the beginning for 
one reason. When we
had the impeachment 
hoax, based on a perfect 
phone call, he totally backed 
me up, and I didn’t ask 
him to do that. They asked him, 
and he said, he absolutely did 
nothing wrong. He said there 
was no quid pro quo. 
He didn’t even know what 
his people were talking about. 
He thought they were crazy...
 So I gained great respect for him there.

And there was the part about the stolen election.
 
I'm the Diamond; Put Me Back
But I believe when you
 see massive election fraud, 
I can’t imagine that somebody 
who won the election based on fraud,
 that something doesn’t happen? 
How has it not happened? 
If you are a bank robber, 
or you’re a jewelry store robber,
 and you go into Tiffany’s and
 you steal their diamonds
 and get caught, 
you have to
give the 
diamonds 
back.

In what I think is a first for a former American president, Trump has expanded his reach to endorsing foreign candidates, including Hungary's Viktor Orban.

All Hail the King
After I endorsed him
he went up like
a rocket ship.
These other leaders
they want endorsements.
I'm the king of endorsements. 
It's more than just this country
It's other countries.
You'll see. 

Finally, what does he see when he looks in his crystal golf ball?

No Doubt
If I ran, 
I can’t imagine 
they’d want to run. 
Some out of loyalty would have 
had a hard time running. 
I think that most of 
those people, 
and almost every 
name you mentioned, 
is there because of me. 
In some cases, 
because I backed 
them and endorsed them. 
You know Ron was at 3 percent, 
and the day I endorsed him, 
he won the race.
As soon as I endorsed 
him, the race was over.
I have a good relationship 
with Ron, I have a good relationship 
with all the names you mentioned. 
Would they run against me? 
I doubt they would run 
against me. I doubt it.

I don't want to comment
on running, but I
think a lot of people
are going to be very
happy with my decision.
Because it's a little boring now.

Nobody likes 'boring,' do they?

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