TGIF 1/17/20

Are we ready for this week's list-makers? As has been the case recently, I'm having a hard time deciding what list these folks should be on - maybe it'll be easier for you.

Let's start with Kenneth Starr. I can't decide which impeachment will be better for Starr's career, the cigar-wielding, serial 'Leaves of Grass' giver, or the race-baiting, xenophobic bigot?

That's right - if you didn't hear the news, Starr has joined president Trump's impeachment defense team, as has Alan Dershowitz. Former Florida AG Pam Bondi is already on the team, helping with 'communications' which, I think, means making appearances on the Fox shows, but I'm not sure.  And, as the article notes, Monica Lewinsky (like Hillary, a 'Leaves of Grass' recipient) chimed in on Twitter.

On Friday morning, shortly after news about Starr joining Trump's legal team broke, Lewinsky wrote in a Twitter post "this is definitely an 'are you f---ing kidding me? kinda day."

And then there's Lev Parnas, the guy with the scoop on all the guys who are pretending that they don't know him or anything about his involvement in the Ukraine affair. All the guys who are pretending that the documents and  pictures and texts that Parnas has shared are fake. Which is kind of funny, when you think about it. Take a look at this snip from a recent Daily Beast article.

In addition to charges of violating campaign-finance laws, Parnas has repeatedly been hit with lawsuits accusing him of refusing to pay rent or live up to his end of various business deals. As recently as 2016, he was ordered by a federal judge to pay more than $500,000 to family trust after he borrowed money for a movie that never ended up being made. 

Seriously, if there was no name in the first sentence, any reasonable person could have thought it was about the president, the guy for whom these same men have forsaken all others, and their ethics, and their collective consciences, and the truth. But I digress.

Here's The Woman Who Pretends To Be White House Press Secretary (TWWPTBWHPS), speaking of Parnas on Trump's personal news network.

The president has said he did not know him and I've got to say, just to say, 'Rudy told me these things' doesn't mean that it has anything to do with the president and it certainly doesn't mean that the president was directing him to do anything. We stand by exactly what we've been saying, the president did nothing wrong. The phone calls, the transcripts say everything there is to it. This is a man who's under indictment and who's actually out on bail. This is a man who owns a company called 'Fraud, Inc.' So I think that's something that people should be thinking about. You know, we're not too concerned about it. Once again, we know that everything in the Senate is going to be fair. It's unfortunate that he's now making a media tour with a lot of the outlets that are against the president. I think that shows exactly what he's doing.

Let's get Stephanie Grisham - she's the TWWPTBWHPS - added to this week's list. First of all, I think this may be the longest statement she's issued since adding the West Wing to her East Wing assignment. And second of all, look how well she pushes the company line, talking about the transcripts that aren't, the Rudy-slamming, mentioning Parnas' indictment and bail, pretending there's going to be a fair trial in the Senate - she's darn good, isn't she?

Of course, she messed up the name of Parnas' company - his business is called Fraud Guarantee, not Fraud, Inc. I think the latter's a Trump Organization holding company for Trump Steaks, Trump University, the Trump Foundation, and so on, maybe not.

For all the people who think Parnas should be completely discounted, all his evidence is right there in his phone, just like Rudy Giuliani says about HIS evidence. I'm not sure who's more reliable of those two, but I'm leaning towards Parnas.

I'm going to put That Guy From Vermont, Elizabeth Warren, and Amy Klobuchar on the list this week - the first two on the bad side, the latter on the good side. Klobuchar continued to demonstrate that she's focused on voters in this election campaign, speaking both about and to Iowans in particular, and to moderates like me in general. I appreciate that, as a non-affiliated voter looking for a candidate.

The other two - TGFV and Warren -  I think royally screwed up during the debate, and of course that hot mic at the end really got to the heart of it: let's call each other a liar on national television, shall we?

The same three of course are now going to be locked in the Senate for Trump's impeachment, without their phones or laptops. It'll be interesting to see who makes the rounds in Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina on their behalf, and equally interesting to see whether Joe Biden, Tom Steyer, and/or Pete Buttigieg capitalize on the other three not being out there.

Did I leave out anyone important?

TGIF, everyone.