Last Words from a Daughter and Her Father

In this week's Sunday School post, I shared some of my favorite excerpts from the many eulogies of Senator John McCain, and promised today I'd share more from two final sets of remarks - those of Meghan McCain on her father, and those of the late senator himself, in a message to America.

#PromisesKept, as they say. Here are some of Meghan's comments:

"The world is a fine place and worth fighting for, and I hate very much to leave it."

When Ernest Hemingway's Robert Jordan, at the close of For Whom the Bell Tolls lies wounded, waiting for his last fight, these are among his final thoughts. My father had every reason to think the world was an awful place. My father had every reason to think the world was not worth fighting for. My father had every reason to think the world was worth leaving.  He did not think any of those things. Like the hero of his favorite book, John McCain took the opposite view: You had to have a lot of luck to have had such a good life. 

I am here before you today saying the words I never wanted to say, giving the speech I have never wanted to give, feeling the loss I never wanted to feel. My father is gone. John Sidney McCain III was many things. He was a sailor, he was an aviator, he was a husband, he was a warrior; he was a prisoner, he was a hero, he was a Congressman, he was a Senator, he was a nominee for President of the United States. These are all of the titles and roles of a life that's been well lived. They're not the greatest of his titles, nor the most important of his roles. 

...the best of John McCain, the greatest of his titles and the most important of his roles was as a father. 

Imagine the warrior of the night skies gently carrying his little girl to bed. Imagine the dashing aviator who took his aircraft hurtling off pitching decks in the South China Sea, kissing the hurt when I fell and skinned my knee. Imagine the distinguished statesman who counseled presidents singing with his girl in Oak Creek during a rainstorm to Singing in the Train. Imagine the senator, fierce conscience of the nation's best self, taking his 14-year-old daughter out of school because he believed I would learn more about America at the town halls he held across the country. Imagine the loyal veteran with his eye shining with happiness as he gave blessing for his grown daughter's marriage. You have to imagine that. I don't have to, because I lived it all. I know who he was; I know what defined him. I got to see it every single day of my blessed life... John McCain was defined by love...

Dad, I love you, I always have. All that I am, all that I hope, all that I dream is grounded in what you taught me. You loved me and you showed me what love must be. An ancient Greek historian wrote, "The image of great men is woven into the stuff of other men's lives."  Dad, your greatness is woven into my life, it is woven into my mother's life, into my sister's life, and it is woven into my brothers' lives. It is woven in the the life and liberty of the country you sacrificed so much to defend...

And finally, from John McCain himself; the full contents of his letter can be found here.

...I have often observed that I am the luckiest person on earth.I feel that way even now as I prepare for the end of my life. I have loved my live, all of it. I have had experiences, adventure and friendships enough for ten satisfying lives and I am so thankful. Like most people, I have regrets. But I would not trade a day of my life, in good or bad times, for the best day of anyone else's.

I owe that satisfaction to the love of my family. No man ever had a more loving wife or children he was prouder of than I am of mine. And I owe it to America. To be connected to America's causes - liberty, equal justice, respect for the dignity of all people - brings happiness more sublime than life's fleeting pleasures. Our identities and sense of worth are not circumscribed but enlarged by servicing good causes bigger than ourselves...

We are three-hundred-twenty-five million opinionated, vociferous individuals. We argue and compete and sometime even vilify each other in our raucous public debates but we have always had so much more in common with each other than in disagreement. If only we remember that and give each other the benefit of the presumption that we all love our country we will get through these challenging times. We will come through them stronger than before. We always do...

Do not despair our present difficulties but believe always in the promise and greatness of America, because nothing is inevitable here. Americans never quit. We never surrender. We never hide from history. We make history.

Sunday School 9/2/18

I'm pretty sure the bulk of the conversation in the classrooms today were about Senator John McCain, whether it's talk about who was or wasn't in attendance, or snippets from the many speakers who honored McCain, or the 'what it all means' parts.

So, I sat this one out - I played hooky this morning.  I spent time in my garden, forming my own opinions, liking what I liked, appreciating (or not) the sincerity of the words we heard over the past few days and, honestly, struggling a little with the amount of 'Trump bashing' that occurred, both spoken and implied, even as I understand where it comes from and why it came out at this particular moment.

I reflected on the many good graces that were present throughout the past week, and fleetingly on the petulance and childishness that emanated from some (we, and they, know who they are). Here are some excerpts from the many tributes in McCain's honor.

From Joe Biden, more than a Senate colleague, a close friend from their earliest days in DC, on why people have been so moved by McCain's passing:

Look, I've been thinking this week about why John's death hit the country so hard. Yes, he was a long-serving senator... Yes, he was a two-time presidential candidate... and yes John was a war hero... But I don't think that fully explains why the country has been so taken by John's passing. I think it's something more intangible. 

I think it's because they knew John believed so deeply and so passionately in the soul of America. He made it easier for them to have confidence and faith in America. His faith in the core values of this nation made them somehow feel it more genuinely themselves... It made the average Americans so proud of themselves and their country. He belief...that Americans can do anything, withstand anything, achieve anything...was unflagging and ultimately reassuring... that we truly are the world's last best hope. the beacon to the world. There are principles and ideals more than ourselves worth sacrificing for and if necessary, dying for. Americans saw how he lived his life that way, and they knew the truth of what he was saying.  

To paraphrase Shakespeare, we shall not see his like again.  

From Paul Ryan, House Speaker, leaving politics this year, on speaking of McCain in the future:

He never lost the joy that time can dull, or the edge that political life often sands away. I..from time to time found myself on the receiving end of John's distinct brand of candor, happily so. I remember thinking more than once yeah, he really does talk like a sailor. But...with John, it was never feigned disagreement. The man didn't feign anything, he just relished the fight. He showed us that in the arena, the honest back and forth, that's where the cause gets bigger, that's where the triumph is all the sweeter. We get stronger at the broken places... I think ahead to the day when I, like so many, will bring my own children and perhaps their children to that hallowed lawn in Annapolis. I think about that, about what I might say to them. "This is one of the bravest souls our nation has ever produced. However you choose to do your part, I hope you do it the way he did... Playing for keeps, never back on your heels. Never letting principle yield to expediency...and always having a great story to tell." 

From Henry Kissinger, former Secretary of State who first met McCain when he was released from Vietnam back in 1973:

Honor - it is an intangible quality, not obligatory. It has no code. It reflects an inward compulsion, free of self-interest. It fulfills a cause, not a personal ambition. It represents what a society lives for beyond the necessities of the moment... For John, it was a way of life. 

John was an exponent of an American strong enough to its purpose, but (he) believed also in a compassionate America... He warned against the temptation of withdrawal from the world. In this manner John McCain's name became synonymous with an America that reached out to oblige the powerful to be loyal and give hope to the oppressed.

The world with be lonelier without John McCain, his faith in America and his instinctive sense of moral duty. None of us will ever forget how even in his parting, John has bestowed on us a much needed moment of unity and renewed faith in the possibilities of America. Henceforth, the country's honor is ours to sustain.

From Joe Lieberman, one of McCain's closest friends, who spoke about the human John McCain:

...becoming John McCain's friend is one of  the great blessings of my life...John and I got to know and trust each other as friends in a way that doesn't happen, because it can't happen any more in the frenetic Washington life of senators. Our friendship taught me many things, including I must add, some jokes that I otherwise never would have known. 

I can tell you that he was a real friend in accommodating what were to him my unusual practices as a religiously observant Jew, whether it was walking with me on a Saturday to an important meeting or turning down a popular Friday night dinner invitation... because it was too far to walk... John naturally in doing these wonderful acts of friendship grumbled all the way about what I was putting him through, you know. Right now I think he's probably deriving some pleasure from the fact it turned out his funeral was held on a Saturday and I had to walk to get here. I'm sure if he were here now, he would tell me that was divine justice. 

From Larry Fitzgerald, Arizona Cardinals wide receiver, who's been friends with McCain for more than a decade, and who visited Vietnam, walked in John McCain's steps, sat in his cell at the Hanoi Hilton:

Many people might wonder what a young, African American kid from Minnesota and a highly decorated Vietnam War hero-turned-United States Senator might have in common... (Note: all of the following pairs of 'commonality' were accompanied by laughter) I'm black. He was white. I'm young. He wasn't so young...He ran for president. I run out of bounds. He was the epitome of toughness, and I do everything I can to avoid contact. I have flowing locks, and well, he didn't... 

While from very different worlds, we developed a meaningful friendship. And this highlights the very rare and very special qualities of Senator McCain that I came to deeply admire. He didn't judge individuals based on the color of their skin, their gender, their backgrounds, their political affiliations or their bank accounts. He evaluated them on the merits of their character and the contents of their hearts,  He judged them by the work they put in and the principles they lived by...  While some might find our friendship out of the ordinary, it was a perfect example of what made him an iconic figure of American politics and service to fellow man. 

He celebrated differences. He embraced humanity, championed what was true and just and saw people for who they were.  

From President George W. Bush, with whom McCain both worked and battled:

John is the first to tell you that he was not a perfect man but he dedicated his life to national ideals that are as perfect as men and women have yet conceived. He was motivated by a vision of America carried ever forward, ever upward, on the strength of its principles. He saw our country not only as a physical place or power, but as the carrier of enduring human aspirations. As an advocate for the oppressed, as a defender of the peace, as a promise, unwavering, undimmed, unequalled. 

The strength of democracy is renewed by reaffirming the principles on which it was founded and America somehow always found leaders who were up to that task, particularly at the time of greatest need. John was born to meet that kind of challenge, to defend and demonstrate the defining ideals of our nation. If we're ever tempted to forget who we are, grow weary of our cause, John's voice will come as a whisper over our shoulder, "we're better than this. America is better than this." 

John was a restless soul. He really didn't glory in success or wallow in failure because he was always on to the next thing, said he can't stay in the same experience.  One of his books ended with the words "and I moved on." John has moved on, He would probably not want us to dwell on it, but we are better for his presence among us. The world is smaller for his departure, and we will remember him as he was: unwavering, undimmed, unequalled. 

And finally, from President Barack Obama, who defeated McCain in the 2008 election.

I have a reputation for keeping cool, John not so much. We were standard bearers of different American political traditions and throughout my presidency, John never hesitated to tell me when he thought I was screwing up, which by his calculation was about once a day. But for all our differences, for all of the times we sparred, I never tried to hide, and I think John came to understand the long-standing admiration that I had for him.

But to know John was to know that as quick as his passions might flare, he was just as quick to forgive, and to ask for forgiveness. He knew more than most his own flaws, his blind spots, and he knew how to laugh at himself. And that self awareness made him all the more compelling.

"Today is only one day in all the days that will ever be, but what will happen in all the days that will ever come can depend on what you do today."  What better way to honor John McCain's life of service than, as best we can, follow his example to prove that the willingness to get in the arena and fight for this country is not reserved for the few, it is open to all of us, and in fact it is demanded of all of us as citizens of this great republic. 

That's perhaps how we honor him best, by recognizing that there are some things bigger than party or ambition or money or fame or power, things that are worth risking everything for, principles that are eternal, truths that are abiding.  At his best, John showed us what that means. For that, we are all deeply in his debt. 

There are no classes tomorrow, but I'll be posting excerpts from Meghan McCain's moving comments about her dad, and his own last words to us all.

See you around campus.

Trump in Transition (v32)

Trump's transition from reality TV star and cheap brand merchandise hawker to president has gone completely off the tracks. Again. For the umpteenth time.

Last night, after the president finally succumbed to pressure and issued a proclamation ordering the flag over the White House to be lowered back to half staff to honor the passing of Senator John McCain, I lost it when I read comments from one of McCain's colleagues, Senator James Mountain Inhofe of Oklahoma, who partially blamed McCain for Trump's inability to act as if he were a human being.

Here are a few excerpts from my post on another social media platform:

It is not John McCain's fault, in whole or part, that the president still does not understand that the world does not revolve around him, and that as president he has the opportunity - strike that, he has the responsibility - to rise above the petty nonsense and just do the right thing...

Yes, it is within the rules to take the flag down only for a day - I get that - but it's also within the president's role as Commander in Chief and as alleged leader of the country to do the honorable thing and pay his respects...

I was not alone in my thinking, nor did I think I would be. Anyone with a heart, with even a shred of decency or compassion, intuitively understood the right thing to do, and just as intuitively understood that Trump had no clue, had to be pressured to act at all, and acted about as badly as possible.

Here are a couple of examples from others. First, Ashley Parker  in her piece President non grata

Less than two years into his first term, Trump has often come to occupy the role of pariah - both unwelcome and unwilling to perform the basic rituals and ceremonies of the presidency, from public displays of mourning to cultural ceremonies.

The latest snub comes in the form of the upcoming funeral for Senator John McCain (R-AZ), which, before his death, the senator made clear he did not want the sitting president to attend. That the feeling is mutual - Trump nixed issuing a statement that praised McCain as a "hero" - only underscores the myriad ways Trump has rejected the norms of his office and, increasingly, has been rejected in turn. 

Rejected by artists, athletes, and more, Parker notes "the rejection is mutual."

Trump, who prefers the comforts of his Trump-branded resorts and restaurants - rarely ventures far from his cosseted bubble. He is generally uncomfortable crossing into hostile territory and prefers to frequent places where he is likely to be lauded, rather than rebuked. 

She goes on to note that his "disdain for what he terms political correctness" is something he wears as a "badge of pride." What he doesn't realize is that it's a badge of shame in the eyes of many in the country, both promoters and detractors of McCain, and of Trump. Some things are more important than his ego, but he has yet to figure that out.

Another Parker, Kathleen this time, called out the president for behaving like a vengeful brat in her column.

The world seems already a lesser place with the passing of John McCain.

...Despite traits and qualities that sometimes earned McCain enemies among friends, the past few days have been filled with with a sense that we've lost something more than the man; we've lost one of the few remaining remnants of the American honor code. 

Dropping the 'vengeful brat' reference, she says this about Trump:

Perhaps he is aiming for consistency rather than compassion, or maybe he's simply undone by the inevitable contrasts -a larger-than-life hero vs. the trite bully whom even pulpits find distasteful.  

Parker mentions Trump's comment about avoiding sexually transmitted diseases was (his)' personal Vietnam," a comment that demeaned the service of all who died in the conflict, as well as to those who lived through it. She also rightly notes that the word 'hero' is overused these days; I would add that it's particularly overused by the president himself, who has called virtually every first responder a hero, no matter how large or small their contribution may have been to any given situation.

Noting the real reason why McCain was a here -- for refusing early release once his captors realized who he was - she opines rather harshly

This singular act of self-abnegation is no one's to question, least of all president Trump's whose military title is so misplaced that one marvels at the self-control of military leadership, for many of whom nausea must be a constant companion.

(McCain) was a hawkish, pro-immigration centrist when the GOP base was increasingly becoming a hard-right, isolationist bulwark against civility, dignity, and the reality of globalization. Thus, McCain and Trump were full-throated foes, each standing his ground on opposing shores of American rectitude.

In closing, Parker landed where I did: on Trump's slogan.

It is a tragedy that McCain, the warrior-hero, should exit the stage just when his model of citizenship is so needed. But perhaps by his leaving and the eulogies to follow, more Americans will recognize what it really takes to make America great again -- and who clearly doesn't get it.