They've got it all wrong, the Lame Stream Media, the liars on CNN and MSDNC and the failing New York Times and the Bezos Washington Post and all the rest... they've got it All Wrong.
Let me give you the Truth about what's happening here.
First of all, I didn't lose the election.
I didn't lose the election, so there was no reason for me to pack anything, so I didn't pack anything, because I won and wasn't going to be leaving. And I'd still be your President, Right Now, and there wouldn't have been a problem if only Georgia had found those 11,780 votes like I asked them to, and like Lindsey asked them to, and like Rudy asked them to, and like everyone else asked them to.
Or Arizona, too, if they had done the right thing. Or Michigan, or Nevada, or Pennsylvania, or Wisconsin. So if they had just done the right thing, none of this would be happening right now, and all my documents would be safe and the Country would be safe, our Borders and our Stock Market and our Taxes - everything would be safe, if they had just done the right thing.
But they didn't and when that wimp, that un-American, un-Patriotic traitor Mike Pence refused to do the right thing and send it back to the states like he was supposed to, I was stuck. I swear, my Secret Service guys should have just grabbed him and stuffed him in the SUV. Worthless.
Anyway, Melania was so frazzled that we were leaving - she had more decorating to do, and stuff to document just like she was doing on January 6th and didn't know anything about what was happening, she really didn't - she was upset, she loved it here - she just started throwing stuff in Tupperware bowls and tubs and stuff, even the jewelry I gave her, the ungrateful wench.
And there I was, alone. Jared was, I don't know, showering all day long or counting his Saudi money with his crook of a father - why did I pardon him again?
Those worthless sons of mine were probably out golfing or something, or maybe Donny Jr was home waiting for what's her name, the "The Best is Yet To Come!" girl I paid $60,000 to for introducing Don Jr. to the crowd at the Ellipse on January 6th - what a waste of money she is! And how on earth was she married to that incompetent commie nutjob in California, Gavin Newsom? And now she's my son's fiancé? What did I do to deserve this?
And my beloved Ivanka was home with those Beautiful grandchildren of mine, aren't they Beautiful? They are the most beautiful grandchildren a man could have, right? Just Beautiful, through and through.
So the staff people, the ones that I hadn't scared off, the staff came running up to the residence with boxes every day, packing, packing, boxing up everything they could get their hands on, I don't even know what they put in all the boxes, the stuff was just thrown in, all willy-nilly, and then the boxes were stuffed in the truck and off everything went to my Beautiful, Historic, Important Mar-a-Lago, the most Famous house in all the world.
I barely managed to get my hands on the compromising photo books, and my pictures of Vlad - it was crazy.
And then, when they reached out to me last year, I had no idea there was anything being stored at my beloved Mar-a-Lago that I wasn't supposed to have. I thought I had taken care of most of the stuff anyone would worry about; that was ripped up and disposed of at the White House.
And what about that Crooked Hillary flunky, Maggie Haberman, the third-rate NY Times reporter - half the kid her parents were, for sure, sharing those pictures... who takes pictures of other peoples' toilets?
And remember when I complained about having to flush and flush and flush? Yeah, well now you understand right? Damn 'green' toilets. You gotta flush and flush and flush them, it's a mess. Horrible.
And in January when I gave them boxes, they were boxes I had never even seen before, maybe someone found them in the back of Melania's closet, that's why I didn't know anything about them. And so, they took the boxes and I thought that was it. They even got back that meteorological map of Dorian - just like I told you, Alabama was in danger the whole time!
And then they said other stuff was missing.
And so I let the lawyers handle everything, and they all said we gave everything back, and that's what they told them, so I just assumed that there was nothing left. They even signed something, saying they had given everything back, I didn't even know we had anything, I didn't pack anything.
And then we heard from them again - good lord, don't these people have anything do to other than pester me about boxes of stuff I know nothing about? Why aren't they trying to put Crooked Hillary in jail? Why the hell aren't they publishing all the stuff off Hunter's laptop, all the Biden Crime Family stuff, instead of trying to pretend there's a Trump Crime Family? What a lie! Everything I have, I've earned the hard way, ever since I was a kid. Even my bone spurs, hard-fought battle but I got them.
'Put a new lock on the door', they said - 'it's not secure enough,' they said. So we did, and even that wasn't good enough, they wanted the camera footage and they sent a subpoena, and still we were cooperating with them, just like from the beginning when the White House Staff filled the boxes and put them in the truck and then they came and picked stuff up.
Just like I've said all along, if they wanted the boxes back, I would have given them back, but they never asked. And once they sent the subpoena, why should I give them back the boxes? Just because they sent me a subpoena?
I've gotten hundreds of subpoenas in my life, and I never just do what they ask me to, that's ridiculous, especially when Trump is under attack, all the time, my entire life. I've been sued more times than anyone in history! My legal files are the biggest you've never seen! They're massive, way bigger than Obama's! I can show you - mine are bigger, no question about it.
And it doesn't matter anyway, because I declassified everything - every single piece of paper, photo, post-it note, article, white paper, briefing book, eyes only piece of paper they shoved under my nose - I declassified it ALL - all at the same time. They must know that, everyone knows that - I can do it, and I did it, and all of this is stupid. Nothing is classified anymore, I declassified all of it, I stood right there over the boxes.
Oh, wait that's not how I did it, I had no idea what was in the boxes, the staff took care of that. But I declassified everything, everything in the residence was declassified, even if it wasn't classified in the first place.
And even if I didn't, it doesn't matter, because all of this is old stuff now, since they kicked me out of my White House in January 2021, that bastard Mike Pence, we should have hung him, just like I said. So how can something a year-and-a-half old be a threat to Our Great Country?
Well, it was Great once, now it's a Third World Country with the libs and Sleepy Joe and Carmella and Drunk Nancy and Cryin' Chuck and the Radical Left Squad and the Woke Mob in charge - what a Mess they have made of our Beautiful Country, right? Antifa and BLM and all the rest...
And now that we've got this NEW Witch Hunt, after the Fake Russia Russia Russia and Impeachment#1 and Impeachment #2 and Mueller's Fake Witch Hunt, now we've got another one to deal with and I tell you, real Americans are just not going to stand for this anymore! We must FIGHT to get Our Great Country back again. And that's exactly what I'm going to do.
Because these documents that I never took and didn't know I had and they could have had back at any time just by asking for them and they're not top secret any longer because it's old stuff on old paper, and besides, I declassified EVERYTHING, and this RAID on my Beautiful Home, the most Beautiful, Famous home in the world, ask anyone, this Raid and this Unlawful Search - they touched Melania's clothes, can you believe that? I think one of them even put on her I Don't Care Do U? jacket, we saw that on the camera, I'm sure we did.
These are just the tip of the iceberg that's going to hit Our Country if we don't stop the woke mob, the lazy liberals who are trying to turn us into a Fourth World Country and if there weren't any of those last week, we're the first and best Country ever to become one. And don't believe any of that Climate Change crap; if it was so warm, why do we still have icebergs? And that iceberg aiming for America right now?
Civil war, I tell you. Some people are saying we're on the verge of a civil war.
I even called Merrick Garland - and have you ever heard anyone so wimpy? His mother Judy, boy could she sing, right? He sounds like a little kid up there, trying to convince his parents he wasn't out drinking with what's her name, that Renate person... oh wait, that's a different judge, never mind.
Anyway, Garland, I called him, asked him what I could do to calm things down after HE raided MY house, SEIZED my documents that I never had and even if I did have them, it doesn't matter because there's nothing wrong with it, and besides, I declassified everything back in January before I left Washington so I wouldn't have to be there for the Fake Inauguration of the Fake President.
Here I am, trying to help, and what do I get? NOTHING! Merrick Garland, he didn't even take my call. We get nothing, Patriots - you and I, we get nothing. But that's all going to change.
With your help, and your prayers, and your donations, we will Fight this Together! We Love You. You are all Beautiful, Special people. Stand back and stand by, and if you do that near an FBI office, that's even better.
We Love You.
And we will fight this together.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!