OrangeVerse XVII: Puerto Rico

The president held a rally in (oops, my bad) visited hurricane-ravaged Puerto Rico today, and boy was he proud of himself. So proud, he made everyone else tell him how wonderful he and his administration are. And then he was bigly very proud. Here he is in his own words.

Trip Advisor? 4 Stars!

Well thank you very much.

It was a

great trip

and a beautiful place.

I've been to Puerto Rico many

times, as I think,

most of you have known.

And I've always loved it.

And your weather

 is second to none but every

once in a while

you get hit. And

you really got hit - 

there's no question

about it.

Suddenly A Category 5 Rang Out

And then all of a sudden

we said there's another one 

heading out 

to Puerto Rico...

but it wasn't one -- it was two!

And I was going to 

be here

a week ago

if you remember

and that was the day 

of the hurricane --

that was the day

of the second

hurricane.

So Brock

has been unbelievable and

this has been

the toughest one.

This has been

a Category 5,

which few people

have ever

even heard of --

a Category 5

hitting land.

But it did

hit land - and 

boy, did it 

hit land.

My People, Tis of Thee

And to all of my people - 

And I have to say

General Buchanan...

there's no doubt about it

you are a general.

There's a reason 

you're a general,

right?

But he's no games:

I said

give me a general

I don't want to have any --

I don't want

to have a general

that plays games...

Not My People? Tis of Thee!

Your governor has been - 

who I didn't know

I heard very good

things about him.

He's not even from my party

and he started out right

at the beginning

appreciating what we did.

And he was

tremendously supportive

and he knew the 

level of problem

that you had

at the beginning

before

and the level -- 

what happened...

right from the beginning

this governor

did not play politics.

he didn't

play it at all.

He was saying

it like it was

and he was

giving us

the highest grades.

And I want to

 -- on behalf of our country --

I want to

thank you.

One Shoe Drops

And Mick Mulvaney is here -

right there - and

Mick is in charge

of a thing

called

"budget"

Now, I hate

to tell you

Puerto Rico,

but you've thrown

our budget

a little out of whack

because

we've spent a lot 

of money on

Puerto Rico

And that's fine.

We've saved

a lot of lives.

And The Other Shoe Drops

If you look at the

--every death is a horror.

But

if you look at a

real catastrophe

like Katrina and

you look at the

tremendous

hundreds

and

hundreds

and

hundreds

of people

that died and

you look at what

happened here with really

a storm

that was just

totally overpowering

--nobody

has ever seen 

anything like this.

Gimme the number!

What is your

death count,

as of this moment?

17?