Shots Fired: Election Edition

“As you heard me say last night, we are humbled by the trust that the American people have placed in us and we recognize this is a time for us to roll up our sleeves and go to work on the people’s priorities: creating jobs, cutting spending and reforming the way Congress does its business. It’s not just what the American people are demanding – it’s what they are expecting from us. And the real question now is this: are we going to listen to the American people…?" --House Majority Leader-elect John Boehner, who will replace Nancy “Pole-vaulting” Pelosi. 

"The time for politics is now over. And now that Republicans have more members in both houses of Congress, they must take their responsibility to present bipartisan solutions more seriously. Simply saying 'no' will do nothing to create more jobs, support our middle-class and strengthen our economy. We must spare no effort to get back to work immediately in order to restore the American Dream for …all Americans." --Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, who won a contentious race against Tea Partier Sharron Angle. Across Nevada, 64.5% of all eligible voters turned out. 

“We overcame great obstacles to get this far, and I could not be any prouder of the race we ran. I gave it my all and so did you. We came up short, but certainly not for lack of hard work, determination and a clear vision for making our state better…The journey is ending, but the mission is not. We did not achieve the victory we worked so hard for, but that is not a reason to give up on what’s most important. We love California and we still believe our state can be a better place.” --Meg Whitman, who lost to former Governor Jerry ‘Moonbeam’ Brown after spending $140 million of her own fortune.  

"I have a message for Andrew Cuomo, the next governor of New York...I've always said my baseball bat is a metaphor for the people who want to take their government back. But this isn't my bat after all. As our next governor, you can grab this handle and bring the people with you to Albany. Or you can leave it untouched and run the risk of having it wielded against you, because make no mistake: You have not heard the last of Carl Paladino." --From the concession speech by baseball-bat-wielding, raunchy-joke-spreading, self-imploding Tea Partier Carl Paladino, who lost by more than 1.1 million votes to Andrew Cuomo in NY’s gubernatorial race.