I Want an Ignoramus for Christmas

Lori Van Buren/Times Union photo

Buffalo NY has the Buffalo Billion, and they have the Buffalo Bills, and they have the Buffalo Buffoon, Carl Paladino.

Paladino ran for governor of NY and lost; he led the state Republicans for a while; he's currently on the Buffalo School Board; and he led the charge for Donald Trump here in the Empire state, having his picture taken with the POTUS-elect as seen here, and even going so far as to threaten New York Republicans who did not agree with him.

The Buffalo businessman said in an interview that he will use email to rally his supporters against New York's Republican members of Congress who have remained neutral in the presidential race.  Paladino...said the emails will become increasingly personal in the coming weeks, targeting individual members of Congress.

How very Trumpian of him -- personally attacking people, even people in your own party, who were elected by people, and who are supposed to serve, their actual constituents - not Carl Paladino. And Chris Collins, the former Erie County Executive and current representative for parts of Western NY and the Finger Lakes in Congress - and member of the Apprentice transition team - chimed in back in back then, too.

I know Carl Paladino has been aggressively pushing all of you to endorse Trump. And I know he has indicated he will start 'attacking' NYers who don't endorse Trump. You may or may not care, but he does have a formidable email list.

Yeah, Collins is a stand-up guy, helping threaten fellow elected officials, and yeah, that Paladino, he's a heckuva guy. 

Paladino was selected by ArtVoice, "Western New York's smartest news, arts, and entertainment," along with several others, to answer a few questions about what they wanted for 2017. Here are two of the questions, and Paladino's answers.

1. What would you most like to happen in 2017?  Obama catches mad cow disease after being caught having relations with a Herford (sic). He dies before his trial and is burned in a cow pasture next to Valerie Jarret, who died weeks prior, after being convicted of sedition and treason, when a Jihady (sic) cellmate mistook her for being a nice person and decapitated her. 
2. What would you like to see go away in 2017? Michelle Obama. I'd like her to return to being a male and let loose in the outback of Zimbabwe where she lives comfortably in a cave with Maxie, the gorilla.

The other two questions asked who should run for mayor in Buffalo, to which Paladino appeared to answer Donald Trump, and about a proposed $50M Amtrak station, which Paladino believes is unnecessary, and he also said that we are the laughingstock of America because of the intelligence of our elected leaders. And, remember, he is one, as a member of the School Board...

Not surprisingly, there's been a lot of backlash on his responses to the first two questions -- they were so out in right field that the Trump team had to distance themselves, if you can believe that. And you can believe that, because I read it on Breitbart.

Carl's comments are reprehensible and they serve no place in our public discourse.

Wow -- is that kind of like being sent to bed without any supper by your billionaire father?

Equally unsurprising is Paladino's doubling down in response to the response to his ignoramusness, which included calls for his removal from the school board, accusations of racism, and even a beat-down from St. Bonaventure University, his alma mater.

It is true that a university is a place that encourages political discourse, but a civil discourse that, as Lincoln said, speaks "to the better angels of our nature." Such racist and demeaning comments have no place in civil society. As in the America we all love, so too at St. Bonaventure - we're better than that. 

Paladino took 14 paragraphs, not counting the opening "This is in response to my comments published in Artvoice" and the closing, shown here, to make his case.

And yes, it's about a little deprecating humor which America lost for a long time. Merry Christmas and tough luck if you don't like my comments.

In between those two statements? Well, let's see: he attacked the press; he attacked the Obamas as two America-hating progressive elitist ingrates; he mentioned hundreds of fired soldier generals and admirals; he talked about Michelle's hatred of America; Barack's yellow-bellied cowardice; unvetted immigration of Muslims; drug pusher commuted sentences; the silent-majority middle class rising up against Democrats and Republicans alike; the end of an era of mainstream media; a fraudulent shadow government and a lazy-ass president; the end of the progressive movement; Trump being called unfit for office; and a president doing nothing for black children.

Now, I have to say, if you didn't get all of that out of Barack Obama having relations with a cow and Michelle Obama going back to being a man and living in a cave with a gorilla, you're not alone. I didn't get all of that either - not even close.

I appreciate and hold dear our God-given right to speak freely. Oh wait - the God-given right is the one to freely hold guns, sorry. Anyway -- I truly believe we have the right to say what we want to say, even when what we say makes us look like an ignoramus. And so I'm personally OK with Paladino's choice to firmly cement his ignoramus credentials, in case anyone doubted that he was a card-carrying ignoramus already.

And, in the spirit of the holiday, I'm happy to be able to check one more thing off my Christmas list.