Trump the Chump Dumps the Stump

Well, maybe His Hairness is not the Chump, it's the New York Republicans who prostituted I mean prostrated themselves, chasing Donald "I Never Met an Office I Ever Intended Running For" Trump up and down the East coast, back and forth across New York, only to be left, as everyone knew they would be, empty-handed, lips chapped from all the ring kissing.

There was no way Trump was going to run. There was no way he was going to 'write a check for $50M' to pay for a campaign against our Sonofa Governor.  There was no way he was ever going to do anything other than get his name out there, and say "Soon" so many times you'd swear he was from Oklahoma.

How did we know this? His Hairness told us. 

He told us in December, in an appearance on Fox and Friends:

I'll make a decision at some time pretty soon. Let's see what happens. I had something else in mind, this was not actually something that I wanted to do. 

He told us in January, in an interview with Greta Van Susteren, again on Fox:

A group of people, a great group, a big group of people, over 50 just came in to my office and I was very honored by it. As you know, the state of New York is doing very, very poorly.  Tremendous unemployment. Tremendous. And the highest taxes in the United States.  So, they are talking to me.  And I have given them certain ideas and certain parameters. And we will see what happens.  But certainly it's something I'm considering and I will make a decision pretty much by the end of the month or early February... Let's say 50/50, a 50/50 number (when pressed by Van Susteren to give her the odds of him running). If we have to go with numbers. I want to see unity in the Republican - the state is three to one Democratic. It's not something that's easy to do. f you do it, you have to do it right. But when you have sound bites that you are the number-one taxes state in the nation, that's a bad sound bite if you happen to be the incumbent governor. 

 He told us in February, talking to reporters:

We'll see what happens. If we get a unified party - a unified, New York State party - No. 1, I would run. And No. 2, I think I would win. The Republican leadership has come to my office on numerous occasions They were there today. Virtually all of them want me to do it, other than Ed Cox, who doesn't know how to win. He's never won anything, so he doesn't know how to win, and I guess he hasn't made up his mind. But we'll see what happens.

And again, in February he told us:

You can't have people going in, knocking the hell out of each other in a primary, spending millions of dollars and then someone comes out wounded and limping.  If they can't unify, I have other things to do.

And then came March.  He told us again:

Republican leaders want me to run so badly... I think it can be won....the Republican Party in New York is a mess. 

And the topper was this one, spoken by Monroe County Republican Chairman Bill Reilich:

Donald Trump has spoken to me directly and told me that when he announces his candidacy, he's prepared to put $50 million in a bank account. It takes some effort to amass this. That's occurring, as I understand it, now. As soon as the filming is complete he's then going to focus towards the May convention. I don't think he's out of it in any shape: he's just got to get his house in order. And the bigger the house, the longer it takes to get in order. 

If Bill Reilich were on The Apprentice, he would absolutely hear the words "You're fired" -- I can't imagine that The Donald would want someone this gullible working for him, can you?

Here are the tweets bowing out, straight from the horse's mouth:

Note that, even as he walks away from running for something for the umpteenth time -- he threatened to run for President four times (1988, 2004, 2008, and 2012) and for Governor (2006) -- he's blaming the people who came to him, as if they could have ever done enough to win his approval, and his commitment, and his cash.

Onondaga County's Republican chair Tom Dadey, said this last December about Trump:

Who? Now, is that the guy who throws his name out there so he can sell shirts and ties and always throws his name out there as a political opportunist? 

Um, yeah, Tom. That's the guy.  That's the Donald Trump you just met.  Maybe he'll share with you what those "much bigger plans" are.  Maybe you can pick up one of those political opportunist shirts cheap.

And maybe, just maybe, Rob Astorino will take your call.