Today's lesson of Sunday School has been postponed so that we may bring you the following special presentation: the 2011 Dirty Snowpile Awards. The DSA were presented for the first time last year, and included a mostly
The Rookie of the Year Dirty Snowpile, to Ann Marie Buerkle (R-Onondaga). A freshman member of the House, Buerkle won a closely-contested delayed decision last fall, and went to
President Barack Obama (D-USA) gets the All Talk, Very Little Action Dirty Snowpile. Doesn’t matter what the issue is, Obama talks a very good game – some of his speeches are both inspired, and inspiring – but they don’t generate the action needed to actually get things accomplished timely, or even at all. He’s too willing to throw stuff out there but not willing to roll up his sleeves and work to get things accomplished until the bitter end. He’s too willing to let people slip and slide along in the icy streets, all the while talking about the need for snow to be removed from the sidewalks. It’s time for him to pick up the shovel and throw the first pile of snow…and the second…and the third...
Jon Kyl (
The 50/50 Dirty Snowpile goes to elected officials around the country – and you know who you are. With very few exceptions, 50% of the time, you can’t believe a word they say and the other 50% of the time, you know even they don’t believe a word they say. About the only ones in
For those outside of Washington who ran on one platform and began immediately doing something else, this snow’s for you. For those of you in statehouses across the land, of both stripes, if you tell a lie about why you’re doing something, this snow’s for you. For those of you at local levels across the country, who gerrymander districts, refuse to consider consolidation or other money-saving opportunities, take obscene salaries and benefits from taxpayers, obstruct progress, and pander to your base, this snow’s for you. Like I said, you know who you are. And so do we.
And a special award, the You’re So Vain, You Probably Think This Snowpile’s About You Dirty Snowpile, goes to Donald Trump. The Donald, who’s flirting with a run for President, didn’t
even know where his polling place was a while back, and lies about President Obama's birth certificate and a few other hot topics even as he's doing well in the polls, but that's not why he's getting this award.
It's because he's got the "number one show on NBC" (Celebrity Apprentice) and it would be "unfair" to announce a potential candidacy because they'd have to cancel the show. Honest.
So there you have it – the cream of the crop, this year’s Dirty Snowpile Award winners. There are likely a plow-ful of other likely candidates - who would you have chosen?