Got Stimulus?

There’s so much stimulating talk these days, ideas to stimulate the economy, stimulate job growth, stimulate spending, stimulate savings – it’s enough to make you think we’re a nation of Viagrans or Cialins or Levitrans. We’re not quite at the point where we are completely defined by a couple of bathtubs on a hill overlooking an ocean with a glorious sunset off on the horizon, but it seems like we can’t get out of our own way with all of the different ideas that have been floated around about how to get out of this recession, or depression, or whatever it is.

While I don’t yet know if any of these plans will give us either lasting economic strength or only the short term day-to-day benefits we see advertised, I have to wonder if any of them will do us any good if we can’t stop arguing about them, whether they’re too much, or too little, or too soon, or too late. Here are some random thoughts on all this mess from a ‘Jane-the-person-who-just-cut-back-her-401(k)-contributions-because-she-can't-stand-watching-her-money-disappear’, in case anyone’s listening to my specific demographic:

(1) When all is said and done, is there really that much difference between an ‘earmark’ and a ‘stimulus’? Back in the day when everyone was flush with cash, and could have afforded to fund their own studies, it would have made sense to complain about things like the stinky pig manure study, one of the member items in Obama’s stimulus plan that’s discussed with wrinkled nose by John McCain as wasteful spending. Actually, in a weird way it’s kind of interesting; here's what Scientific American has to say about it. But, if the purpose of the stimulus plan is to get money into the economy and keep people employed, shouldn’t scientists be able to benefit? To say nothing of Iowans and anyone else who lives near a factory pig farm?

(2) Does it make sense that we use new stimulus money to plug holes in our state budget, rather than using it to put new money into the economy and put people to work? New York is facing a huge budget gap and our Accidental Governor is proposing that $1.3 billion of the Empire State's portion of the Obama plan be used to replace some of the new taxes he had proposed to close the gap. New taxes aren’t one of my favorite things, but neither is delaying the inevitable by not making the real hard decisions we should be making. If we use stimulus money this way, when it’s gone, we’re still going to be on the high wire, but without a net.

(3) If a government entity, university, or business has already planned on doing work and has a way to pay for it they should not be eligible for stimulus plan funding for that work. Use new money for new things, use existing money for existing plans. Period.

(4) Shouldn’t modernizing the power grid be more important than broadband computer access and digital TV? The stimulus plan includes $4.4 billion for the grid, but $4.7 billion for broadband and an additional $650 million for digital TV. Call me silly, but if a tree falling in Ohio can shut down power to 50 million people and cost upwards of $4 billion as it did in 2004, whether I’m unable to watch the Not Bad, Considering... Nightly News in analog or digital won’t matter all that much to me.

(5) Anyone who received any return on their investment with Bernie Madoff should not be eligible for any future settlement, and if they're lucky they won't have to pay anything back. Anyone involved in refusing or failing to investigate Madoff should be prosecuted just as fully as Madoff. We have regulators for a reason, and if they ignore multiple reports of actual or potential wrongdoing over several years, they should go to jail.

(6) Here in Syracuse, there’s been nothing as stimulating as this week’s Big East basketball tournament since, well, 2003 when the Orange won the whole shebang. Thursday night, SU played the UConn Huskies and ending up winning in the sixth overtime. Friday night’s game against West Virginia was another nail-biter, with SU winning again, needing only an extra five minutes. Sadly, after a great start against Louisville, they came up short, but down the road what people are going to remember the heart of this team, and that game on Thursday. This shirt sums it up perfectly.

Here’s hoping your stimulus plan is half as exciting as this week was for us.