I Did Not Have Sex with That Man

Just to set the record straight, I was not the brunette that allegedly had a dalliance with Tiger Woods earlier this year when he played at a charity tournament in our neighborhood. Not that I couldn’t have been – after all, it seems like Tiger was pretty available and indiscriminate about some aspects of his personal life.

Watching this whole saga unfold is really just so much déjà vu all over again. Tiger has joined a long list of folks who are apparently blinded by their own celebrity, addicted to what that celebrity brings, and now in the ranks of those tarnished by their ‘celebrity behavior’:

• Politicians including JFK, Gary Hart, Bill Clinton, and Wilbur Mills (remember Fanne Fox?)


• Newt Gingrich famously taking divorce papers to his wife in the hospital, so he could marry his mistress.


• More recent flameouts like Eliot Spitzer and Mark Sanford.


• Wilt Chamberlain, who boasted that he had slept with 20,000 women.


• Kobe Bryant who bought his wife that huge apology diamond.


• Magic Johnson – enough said.


• David Letterman, who admitted sleeping with people who worked on his show.


• Any business leader with a trophy wife…any rock start with a groupie…any actor with a ‘sex addiction’…

So, what do all of these have in common? Well, other than men behaving badly, they all have women behaving badly too. If women hadn’t have been ready and willing accomplices, either as amateurs or professionals (in Spitzer’s case, for example), these guys would have likely found something else to do. Instead of going to Vegas for the VIP clubs and the ‘hostesses’ that work at them, or the cocktail waitresses (Michael Phelps), they could have been gambling and helping the economy, for example. They could have been home with their families, or working at soup kitchens, or teaching kids to read or play basketball or golf or to tell funny jokes or sitting around watching the news or reading the tabloids, rather than being the news or tabloid fodder.

The more recent cases also have the public apology component in common. Press conferences, ‘mea culpa’ interviews (Hugh Grant’s on the Tonight Show was a great one), or in Tiger’s case, a statement on his web site, begging for forgiveness and privacy while the family works it out. After the apologies come the speculations: will they stay together? Will his career be ruined? Will the sponsors drop them (in the case of athletes, actors and musicians)?

They also have in common a public forgiveness component. For all their foibles, the majority of us are collectively eager to welcome them back after they come clean. We’ll continue to watch them, read them, listen to them, support them. We’ll continue to pay to see them do their jobs, whether it’s giving a speech or playing a game or writing a column or selling books or running for office. We’ll continue to idolize them, even as we study them and remember them for their failures.

The biggest problem for them is of their own making. The biggest problem for us is, why do we put these folks on a pedestal in the first place?

Can We Talk (Part 2)

I sent the letter below, via email, to my State Senator David Valesky. He's a member of the Democratic leadership in the Senate, holding the position of Vice President Pro Tem. I'll keep you posted on what I hear.

Dear Senator Valesky,

While the Governor and the Legislature are in Albany, ostensibly to work out conflicts and come to resolution on ways to close the $3.2 billion budget deficit, the only concrete action I’ve seen mentioned coming out of the session are two bills which pile on sentences for (1) convicted felons and (2) drunk drivers.

While I suppose the update to Jenna’s Law, and the passing of Leandra’s Law, are worthy issues to have tackled while waiting for the real work of the special session to take place, I’m much more concerned about our economic problems than I am about these two laws. I’m also concerned that we’ve spent upwards of $500,000 since you’ve all been back in session and we have so little to show for it.

Frankly, I’m not convinced that our elected officials will be able to make the hard decisions that are needed to close our deficit and begin putting New York back on the right track. Especially considering the recent change of heart on the new license plates, which could have added some $129 million to the state’s coffers but is now likely off the table, I’m not sure that anyone in Albany understands how to do the right thing for our state.

Here are some specific questions for you, which are similar to the questions I’ve asked Senator DeFrancisco:

• What specific changes do you fee are needed in the current budget?
• What specific cuts are you willing to propose or support that will actually reduce spending, not just decrease the increases? For example, education spending? Health care spending? Member items?
• What specific services are you willing to reduce so we can avoid another budget deficit in the coming fiscal year, which is just around the corner?
• Will you commit to actually making cuts, rather than just shifting costs (and responsibilities) to local jurisdictions?
• When will we see the benefit of having a Democratic majority in Albany? Seems like we continue to have gridlock and lack of progress, which is what we had before…
• Why should I, as a registered Democrat and one of your constituents, continue to support you, rather than either shifting my vote to one of those who will challenge you, either from within the Democratic ranks, or a Republican challenger?

I’m concerned about the direction we’re headed and I’m looking forward to your response.

Thanks.

Can We Talk (Part 1)

I sent the letter below today, via email, to the State Senator who represents much of Onondaga County and the City of Syracuse. He's not my Senator, but he's very interested in what happens in my district, which adjoins his. I'll keep you posted on whether this correspondence generates a response.


November 19, 2009

Senator John DeFrancisco
Room 802 Legislative Office Building
Albany, NY 12247


Dear Senator DeFrancisco,

I recently read in the Syracuse Post Standard that you are supporting the candidacy of classical pianist Andrew Russo, the first of possibly several Republicans to declare as challengers to my Senator, David Valesky.

While I understand that you would support a Republican in a race against one of your Democrat counterparts, I’m curious as to why you think Mr. Russo is the best candidate to represent my district. I’m not that familiar with his positions, as his candidacy was only announced very recently; since there are others in your party who may also run, I suspect you have more familiarity since you’re considered a supporter even before any other candidates declared.

Can you explain your thinking on this? I realize I’m not one of your constituents, but as we are both residents of the city of Syracuse, I’m interested in your thoughts on what our city, our county, and the state need to do going forward in these difficult economic times, and why you think Mr. Russo can best help us move in the right direction.

Thanks for your insight, and for your response.