Dissecting Direct Mail

Instead of aggravating over political stuff today, I thought it would be fun to dissect some mail I received earlier this week.

Now, I get probably hundreds of pounds of direct mail and junk mail a year: solicitations from charities I've never heard of; offers for credit cards, life insurance, and other financial opportunities; catalogs for clothes, jewelry, shoes, garden supplies, cooking gadgets, food in the mail, things I've seen on TV, and on and on and on. And sweepstakes offers -- like many of you,  I may already be a winner. Have you checked to see if you've won?

Wednesday, I got two great pieces of junk mail, both related to massive used car sales that are happening in our area. Before I get into the mailers, in the interest of full disclosure: I do not drive; I never have. I will someday, I think. It's just never been a priority for me.  So when I get junk mail related to cars, I shift into shake-my-head mode right away. 

So - here's the setup. Two full color, oversized 'envelope' style flyers arrived, pictures of cars all over them, large print, and lots of codes and PINs and official-looking language and delivery instructions.

Flyer #1: This could be your "key" to winning $25,000 CASH or a  $24,985 2010 Ford F150 STX!  Yep, that's right:  I could win an old car with the key that was attached to the flyer. I could also win any of a number of other prizes - there are a total of 70,000 available -  if I present my photo ID and my official bar code at "Syracuse Chiefs Stadium" on October 24, 25, 26, 27, 28 or 29. (Note that there's no such thing as Syracuse Chiefs Stadium, it's NBT Bank Stadium, but that's really a small issue.)

 Flyer #2: "One metallic key mailed for a $19,763 2013 Dodge Journey". Yep, I could win a newer old car with the key that was attached to this flyer, or a any of the total of 60,000 prizes if I present my winning invitation, photo ID and confirmation code at the Fingerlakes Mall outside Auburn on nine days only. Four of the days had already passed by the time I got the flyer, so that's kind of a bummer.

Now, here's the first problem with these mailings. Take a look -- there's no difference between the keys I got, other than one has more tape goop on it than the other. They are exactly the same. That being the case, I'm pretty sure I don't have the winning key for either deal, because if I did it means I have the winning key for both of them, and well, we know that's just not going to happen, right?

I could be the winner for one, I guess, and my alter ego 'Current Resident' could win the other one, since the mail was addressed to both of us. But I'm struggling a little trying to figure out what Current Resident's photo ID would look like, and how her identify could be verified as required in the official rules. 

Both deals are coordinated by American Hole n One, a direct mail and promotions firm out of Georgia. Prizes in addition to the cars, include cash, TVs, Kindles, and Walmart gift cards, and  'golden dollars'.  Flyer #2 offers a prize to everyone who receives the mailing, with well over 99%  (59,981 out of 60,000) of them being $5 Walmart gift cards. 

Flyer #1, on the other hand, has a problem. Again, well over 99% (69,897 out of 70,000) of the prizes are minuscule - in this case, $2 'golden dollars' but the interesting thing is, the odds of winning the car and the other major prize, $3500 cash, are 1:500,000.  Something about this seems fishy doesn't it? I mean, who are those other 430,000 people who have a chance to win my three-year-old truck?

Alas, as I wrote that last sentence, I saw a political tie-in after all. I guess it was simply not meant to be a politics-free day after all.

See, it occurred to me that the 70,000 who got the mailing are kind of like the people who actually live in a specific legislative district; they have a direct connection to the issues in the district, and are the ones to whom the candidate that gets elected needs to be accountable.

The other 430,000?  They're equivalent to all those outside the district  - PACs and unions and Brothers Koch and foundations and billionaires Soros and Bloomberg -- that pour tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars into my district during each election cycle, trying so very hard to influence not only the election outcome, but the politician as well.

And so I wonder: If I don't even have a fair chance to win a stupid used car, how am I supposed to have a fair chance to elect the person I want to represent me?

Campaign finance reform, that's how.