Initially, I was wondering on Wednesday what I'd ask the Rs if I had the chance. You know, things like
- Mr. Trump, about that wall you're going to build along our southern border (and nobody builds a wall like you do), and have Mexico pay for, are you going to collect the money up front in a 'build as they pay' type of thing, or would your administration pay for the wall and then sue the snot out of Mexico to recoup the costs?
- Mr. Christie, you noted that you would punch the national teachers union in the face because they are the single most destructive force in public education today. Looking around at your fellow candidates, which of them do you think is the most destructive force in the Republican Party today? Please answer via punching the face of your choice.
- Mr. Walker, pretend for a moment that you have $250M to spend on anything you wanted to that would help move Wisconsin forward. How the heck did you decide that a new arena for the Milwaukee Bucks, who finished the past three seasons with a 94-152 record, was the right idea?
- Mr. Bush, be honest: don't you think your brother went to war with the wrong country after 9/11 because they tried to take out your Daddy?
- Mr. Cruz, why?
But then, I got wondering, what would happen if we took the candidates off the fake debate stage, and put them all in the Big Brother house and let them cull their own herd through alliances, HoH contests, and stuff like that?
Or maybe if we put them together with the Real Housewives, we could vote for the last man or woman standing? Or, could we maybe put them through the American Ninja Warriors Houston finals course?
I'm also wondering what it's going to take to get the media to start giving equal time to all of the candidates, instead of spending so much energy justifying the candidacy of His Hairness and trying to prove once and for all that Christie is a bully?
And, I'm wondering how the people who live in Texas (Cruz) and Florida (Rubio) and South Carolina (Lindsey Graham) and Kentucky (Rand Paul) and Wisconsin (Walker) and Louisiana (Bobby Jindal) and Jersey (Christie) and Ohio (John Kasich) really feel about their officials running all over the place trying to convince people to select them as the party's Presidential candidate, instead of them being focused on the people who have already elected them?
If you ask me, folks who are already elected as Senator, Governor, or some other position should step down if they want to run for a different one.
Hey - I wonder - is that why no one ever asks me anything?