July 26, 2015

How Do You Solve a Problem Like The Donald?

Leaked lyrics for a new single from Reince Priebus and the Trapped Party Singers:

ABC News 

He rides an escalator on TV, he does not take a stair
He boasts about all he owns but tells us life's not fair
On top of all his bluster, he's got that wild-ass hair
And now he's scaring off my G.O.P!

He doesn't think before he speaks - that much we know is true.
The Mexicans or John McCain? He's got strong words for you!
I hate to have to say it, but this you already knew
Oh yeah, he's really scaring off my G.O.P.

I'd like to say a word on his behalf, but I can't - I know you'd surely laugh!

How do I solve a problem like The Donald? Should I shut him up and sit him down?
How do you find a word that means The Donald? A pretender? A charlatan? A clown?


sodahead.com

Many a thing we R's would like to tell him; many a thing we wish he'd understand:
How you never trash the party's heroes, equate a nation to a bunch of 'zeros'
and expect the rest of us to let that stand

Oh, how do I solve a problem like The Donald? How do I hold such candor in my hand?

When I hear him, I'm confused, out of focus and bemused
and I never know exactly where I am. Unpredictable as the weather
He's as flighty as a feather. He's a bragger! He's a demon! He's a sham!

He's got a ton of money and he's proud to tell us so
He puts his name on EVERYTHING in case you didn't know.
The 'Trump House' - can't you see it if to Washington he'd go?
Oh yeah, he's really scaring my G.O.P.

He'll out-bluster any storm, dispense drivel in perfect form
He's throwing my party out of whack!
He's arrogant! He's wild! He's a tyrant! He's a child!
He's a headache, not an angel! He's a wretch!

blog.timesunion.com

How do I solve a problem like The Donald? Should I shut him up and sit him down?
How do you find a word that means The Donald? A pretender? A charlatan? A clown?

Many a thing we R's would like to tell him; many a thing we wish he'd understand:
He can't ignore the party's leaders, playing only to bottom feeders
And hurting the party's name across the land!

Ugh. How do I solve a problem like The Donald? How can I fire this evil man?