June 12, 2011

Poetry: Sarah Palin Emails

In case you didn't know, emails from Sarah Palin's aborted governorship of Alaska were released, long after they were requested when she was John McCain's running mate.  Thoughtfully, the New York Times has posted the entire set on their website, and offered readers the chance to review and flag anything we found interesting. 

What I found interesting right off the bat was that the governor had a Yahoo mail account. You know, the kind like us normal folks have -- which means that many of the emails she sent as governor of the The Last Frontier included pitches for Yahoo's services. I wonder if the Times could find out if there were any contributions to the state coffers or Permanent Fund Dividends paid to Alaskans as a result of the advertising?

Here, in verse, are the Yahoo tags on emails from January and February 2007. 

Tired of spam? Quit your job.
Take classes online and earn your degree in one year.
Start today! Ahhh…imagining that irresistible “new car smell”?

Bored Stiff? Loosen up….Download and play hundreds of games for free.
We won’t tell! Get more on shows you hate to love (and love to hate).
Don’t be flakey. Want to start your own business?

Learn How. Be a PS3 game guru.
Have a burning question? Looking for earth-friendly autos?
Fire up a more powerful email and get things done faster.

Don’t get soaked. Take a quick peak at the forecast.
Find a flick in no time! Finding fabulous fares is fun!
Need a quick answer? Get one in minutes from people who know.

Sucker punch spam with award-winning protection.
Turn searches into helpful donations. Make your search count.
The fish are biting.

Get more visitors on your site. Now that’s room service!
Food fight? Enjoy some healthy debate.
Need mail bonding? No need to miss a message. Cheap talk?

It’s here! Your new message!
Don’t pick lemons.
Get your own web address. Have a HUGE year.

Now, don't worry - there's a whole lotta poetry in those emails, you betcha.  I'll have some of the Gov's own words coming up this week.